Hoo boy. Dubuque, Iowa ain’t never seen the likes of us before. And they must be glad we left; we won a lot of money. From Friday afternoon until Sunday morning the madd scientist, the lawman hisself, and I could not go near a craps table without BREAKING IT OFF. We did it with points. We did it with come bets. We did it with hard ways. We did it sober. We did it drunk. We did it while hungry and while groaning from the meals we had just eaten. WE COULD NOT LOSE! We also found a new gambling home in Dubuque. We had previously been faithful patrons of Diamond Jo’s;
The cap and trade system worked well for the hotel room, and on that note I have to again commend the Hotel Canfield for their affordable rates and gentle understanding about dudes playing loud heads-up poker at 5:30am. We were able to get a suite and a second room for two nights each for a grand total of $330.
We had great burgers at Paul’s Tavern, and a semi-nice dinner at Champagne in the Mystique Casino. The service was great there, but the food was kinda sorta only Ok. Wwhazz got booted out of the poker room on Saturday night. It was a perfectly natural misunderstanding.
After I retired early on Saturday night the boys went back to Diamond Jo and broke that fool off again (see top picture). They just couldn’t be stopped at winning money, however they COULD be stopped at finding food. Seriously, it’s very hard to get a bite to eat in Dubuque after 1am and the world record blizzard earlier in the day didn’t help things.
So, as I hear it, the boys walked through the still-open drive-thru of the nearby McDonalds. Alas! They were turned away and told they needed to be in a car. Never ones to be denied, these stalwart heroes of modern mastication acquired the necessary tools and sped back through the same drive-thru minutes later. Their take, rendered in pixels to the left, was 10 McChicken sandwiches, 10 cheeseburgers, and 60 Chicken McNuggets. Also: several large fries.
Upon awaking Sunday morning I had a delicious breakfast of mcnuggets and la croix. We said our goodbyes and then headed out of town…
…IS WHAT YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY! Instead we headed back to Mystique to “wait out the bad weather” and had by far our best craps session of the trip. I mean it was serious unloading. We won money. HOE-CHO! CHICKEN DICKS! It was all hitting us. We could not be defeated, but we could be yelled at by our wives so ultimately the trip had to end and we started the slow trip back north.
Until next time, Dubuque…. CHICKEN DICKS STICKS!