Blizzard Wizards Part TOOOOOO!

Mysterious

[UPDATE] I have lots of pictures up now on Flickr. Check them out.

Lots of stuff happened this week while we were in Sint Maarten (they spell stuff oddly there), so let’s get right to it:

Vacation Pros

  • Extremely warm and beautiful weather
  • Had no part to play in the Midwest Snowpocalypse
  • Delicious seafood everywhere I went
  • A rockin’ speedboat day tour of the island, including visits to a topless beach and Stacy whipping my sunglasses to the bottom of the ocean
  • Blackjack (boo!) and roulette (yeah!) situated 10 feet from the lobby of our hotel
  • I proudly and excitedly purchased a bottle of Macallan 12yr Fine Oak (see right) which I did not know existed.  I have brought home with me 2/3 of a bottle for y’all to enjoy.
  • Disturbingly low-priced jewelry
  • All the Canadians (the good ones)
  • Weirdly, when you’re all-inclusive (including booze) they make the drinks 10 times stronger.  For about half the trip I would wake up with a oh-shit-I’m-late-for-school start and wonder how I got there, then think about the numerous rum goblets I drank by the pool, as well as the half dozen Carib beers I had with dinner and at the casino.

Vacation Cons

  • We met (maybe) five service workers in our hotel and surrounding restaurants that weren’t outright rude, hostile, or indifferent to us.  Bar none, it was the worst collective service I have ever had in my entire life.
  • We stayed in Phillipsburg, which is the port where the cruise ships come in.  Very, very big con: the entirety of the town runs on the Cruise Ship Clock. Cruise ships leave port around 5pm, at which point Phillipsburg becomes a scary ghost town filled with packs of stray dogs.  None of what I just said is an exaggeration or lie.  The night we got there, we figured we’d stroll into town and get some dinner at around 6pm.  We walked, and walked, and walked and only saw shuttered doors like the ones you see in real bad parts of Market St in SF.  Like, we had no idea what these stores were because it wasn’t bars or a steel chain curtain.  There were Star Wars blast doors that covered the whole front of the building.  We hesitantly made our way deeper into the area and found nothing but wandering stray dogs and people yelling at us from porches.  We headed a block over to the boardwalk (hoping to find jamming beachside bars or restaurants) and literally the only thing we found was a deserted Hard Rock Cafe where the few workers unlucky enough to be stuck on a night shift paid us little to no mind.
  • Do not, under any circumstances, assume that just because a place says it has ‘wi-fi’ that it actually does or that you can use it.  I paid $73 for eight days of wifi access at the hotel, and as Stacy can attest I spent most of that swearing at my iPad and threatening to throw it out a window.  Their scheme is brilliant: have too little area coverage, and then hire someone to power cycle the wireless access point approximately once every two minutes.  Also, hook your access point up to the internet with a 1600 baud modem and let your entire guest list share that bandwidth.  Loading whazzmaster.com took, on average, 10 tries and 15 minutes (to see one page).
  • All the Canadians (the rude and boorish ones)
  • The heat pump in our apartment failed sometime when we were gone, so we got in late Saturday evening to a freezing house and a pissed-off cat.
The View

Phillipsburg is actually really banging during the day.  All those scary deserted streets are actually filled with Cartier, Ralph Lauren, Lacoste, and a quadrillion jewelry stores during the day.  And there are three dozen jamming beach-side bars whose happy hour runs from 11am-noon. On the other side of the island

The fact that, even with enragingly bad customer service, I still had the time of my life says something about the place.  I’d definitely go back, but probably wouldn’t stay in the same place.  I’d probably try to catch a joint down in Simpson Bay, where there actually is a ton of nightlife and stuff to do outside the hotel after 5pm.

That’s about all I’ve got for now- I’m going to rest my weary, travelin’ bones and then cheer my ass off for the Super Bowl this evening.  Once we get all the pictures we took uploaded from Spacebee’s camera then I’ll get some links up.  There. Are. Some. Good-uns.

Did Michigan Springer really throw his blackberry into an icehole? Was it really gravy? Go Packers.

408 thoughts on “Blizzard Wizards Part TOOOOOO!

  1. an employee of a government of the people, by the people is hypocritically ignorant in any assumption that a separate body could better represent them. the law banning unions could only serve their benefit.

    fucking pinko communist bastards.

    START YOUR OWN SCHOOL, ASSHAT.

  2. Now this is what I call music:

    Fedor’s coaches, Vladimir Voronov, adds the following:

    “We believe that forbidden psychological technology was used… It seems to us that not everything was right, and that certain technologies were used. Not ones that could be seen by the naked eye but psychological technologies that worked on both fighters at a distance,” he said to Russian website LifeSports.ru

    “That is why during the fight Fedor was just not like himself. It seemed very strange behaviour from Fedor. He stepped into the ring and did everything exactly the opposite of what we practiced before the fight. We were all shocked! Fedor had never previously done such a thing.

    “Now nearly a week passes, everything settles, and we understand why all this happened.”

    Voronov also observed with suspicion the fact that Fedor seemed to look “a little depressed” while Silva “literally glowed from the overflowing of his energy”. Voronov suspects the use of a person or persons in the audience capable of “blocking energy” and “transferring energy from one person to another”.

  3. lots of my teaching and nursing friends have been sending me scott walker national guard links over the last few days… i don’t know if it’s true, but lots of people certainly believe it’s true or want me to believe it’s true.

    ASSHATS.

    take care of your own shit.

  4. The Union (aka U.P.Y.O.U.R.S.: Union of People You OUghtta Respect, Son) was a stable consisting of former Corporation members Ken Shamrock, The Big Show and Test, and their leader, Mankind.

    On May 31, Mankind received several sledgehammer blows to the knee in a hardcore match with Triple H. With their lead wrestler injured and their enemy evolved into a different group, the Union quietly disbanded.

  5. it really angers me that these brat kids skipped out of school and claim that their teachers enlisted them to fight for their rights.

    a teacher utilizing a student for non-educational personal gain is the ultimate betrayal of trust.

    fire them all.

  6. i don’t understand how the continued ability to elect a governor who will serve your cause is not an inherent ability to negotiate with the representatives of the electorate.

    were there any sopranos on the capitol lawn? moltisantis? did anyone see a blundetto? it’s a racket.

    RIGGED.

  7. I was really, really, really pampered at pampered chef. Oneil gave me a boat load of Jim Beam and chicken.

    Damnit, scientist, I got you a peeler. At a $1 that’s a decent chunk of my wage.

  8. if steeze responded to me a week ago, i’d be on the square fully strapped, getting shit done.

    instead, i’m full of spite. sorry, teachers, nurses, and EMTs… talk to J-stiez.

    the firefighter exemption is a delicious display of hypocrisy… especially the very same firefighters now fighting for everyone else after the fact, like “we got what we wanted, but we didn’t include you in our negotiations… but we’re here now, that should count for something, even though you won’t get what you want because WE HAVE ALL THE AXES”.

    this is how i’m going to do this:
    FUCK MOBB DEEP
    FUCK FIRE FIGHTERS
    FUCK THE CAPITOL LAWN, AND IF YOU”RE ON THE CAPITOL LAWN, THEN FUCK YOU TOO.
    FUCK ALL YOU MOTHER FUCKERS
    GINO XL… FUCK YOU TOO
    HOUSE BILL 44 MAKE SURE ALL YOUR UNION REPRESENTATIVES COMPENSATION DON’T GROW
    THUGG LIFE

  9. Fuck this court. Fuck Jim Lahey. Fuck Randy. Fuck those two idiot cops right there. Fuck suit dummies; as a matter of fact fuck legal aid. Fuck Danny and Terry’s Buffalo Chicken Wings. Fuck all the old wood in here. Fuck the moon, fuck corn on the cob, fuck squirrels. Fuck me, fuck you, fuck everything!

  10. The regular tv episodes just got added to netflix on demand this week. I watched the one where j-roc gets caught wackin it by his mom and then turns it into a rap song.

    A plus!

  11. Lahey’s use of “shit” is always keen.

    I enjoy “shit bat” and the “shit leopard can’t change its shit spots.”

  12. Sweet move! Walker wants to vote, the dem senators are hiding!
    As a fan of chaos, hahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaaaaaahahhahahahahahaah.

  13. J-roc could go down to the cap and give a sweet concert.

    Yuh. Yuh.

    J to the ROC.

    Better than that creep justeezee.

  14. In other news, a lady got knife mugged .5 miles from my house, on a street that I walk my pooch on all the time.

    Damn it cal, get knives banned.

  15. I hear they split up so they are harder to track down. If they drew straws, i bet someone jow-rigged it so they got Dubuque.

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