First, here’s a video:

Second, here is one of the Top Comments on that video:

When I was a little kid, there´╗┐ was a Double Dragon Arcade machine in the hotel where i was on vacation. I spent hours watching older kids playing that game.

Finally two teenagers, who were really good at the game, beat the last boss. They had fought very, very good together, a really good team. They just looked at each other, and then synchronously jumped into the spike pit, killing both their characters.

That really impressed me, they would rather “lose” both, than fight each other.

Third: when wwhazz, GMX, and I played Double Dragon at the Brat Stop in Kenosha, and we defeated the Last Boss, it became a Brawl-for-All to determine who was more awesome.  At no point did I ever consider jumping in the spikes (though it may have happened accidentally) to preserve some sort of Video Game Comrade Bond.

145 thoughts on “Heroes

  1. Google maps has the drive at 15.55

    I have to arrive my hotel before 9:55 tonight to make it, time wise, a wash.


    Whatever, I had a giant Crown and Coke in Minneapolis and thought about how much Cal loves that place. Ate some fries off Hollis' plate, and then booked it for the gate.


  3. sorry i couldn't help you waste your day… i had to work solid through. couldn't even watch more russian awesome videos.

    sort of ashamed at how excited i am for the final season premiere of entourage tonight.


  4. I just interviewed LeRoy Butler. I challenged him in arm wrestling. No, I didn't. But I did interview him. Guess where you can catch it? I'm writing it up right now…

  5. it begs the question "but you one day might be?"

    leroy butler once said it best:

    you can never lose with french puns

  6. well now i know who leroy butler is. sort of. you should have asked him if he ever wished he could kick the field goals. follow up: did he ever ask to kick the field goals?

  7. You know what's exquisite? Me charging into the playoffs in fantasy football after taking all of Paps' players.

  8. Okay dipshits, I can see exactly ONE referral from Whazzmaster.com to my LeRoy Butler article. I'm 'bout ready to fuck shit up. And CAL– next time you interview a famous NFL player, let me know… Fuck heads. I hate all of you.

  9. Okay, that's two now you fuckwads. Fuck off. LEROY BUTLER. Maddddddddddddddddd knows. Maddddddddd is my only friend on this earth. I hate all of you. FUCK YOU. FUCK OFFF.

    Grain Belt rules!

  10. you're right… you're right. you are right.

    i'm sorry. Leroy Butler. YOU interviewed the living legend leroy butler. THE Leroy Butler. LE ROY BUT LER. oh, yeah… only leroy buler – justthe greatest who ever lived. that's all cal. THAT'S ALL.

    leroy butler – they called him "two tone" because when he hit you you heard two tones… and then you were dead.

    One time he scored a touchdown and then kicked off to himself and scored another touchdown for the other team.

    another time he tackled a man on the goal line… after tackling every other player on the field.

    LEROY BUTLER invented every "yo mama" joke there ever was. including the one that goes "yo mama so fat that when she went to the movies she sat next to everyone."


  11. Cal, the next time I see you I am going to shit in my hand and smear it on your pretty little face. You dick wad. Go get some Grain Belt and an education. Dude INVENTED the Lambeau Leap… What did you ever invent? Oh yeah. You invented being a pussy. And getting your ass kicked by Paps in Fantasy baseball. I'm coming after you!!! DUNN WILL BE YOUR DEMISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. did wwhazz get eaten by a rattle snake? dutty and I want to say goodnight and no wwhazz. the last i heard from him he was crashing around in desert heat with wild animals.

  13. Belly– if that's really you… Hadder asked me to post something on your FB wall. So I did.

  14. Look… if each of us posted the LeRoy link five different times… well, I think we all know what would happen. So let's go ahead and shoot for that. I'll see you all at 8am in the conference room. Cal, bring the blow. Parker, you bring the hookers… Whazzy– DOM!!!!!!

  15. what kind of book learning has you crashing around with rattlesnakes??!

    i do not understand this trip. i do understand $18.50 bloodies at the errrrrport. fall for that shit ALL DAY. let me guess… you want that $1.50 for a tip? fuck you. off to drink. alone.

  16. last airport trip was fucking zero hour for online poker… string of 1sts in $33 single table turbos… like $500 profit in a couple hours. get on the plane, land, US poker is shut down.

    as good of a way as any to go out.

  17. I'm at a remote resort in OK LO HO MA learning my craft, ritin and ridin.

    Very remote, like deer outside my hotel entrance, like right out side, like sho shoo you. I've seen the youtubes where deer super kick motherfuckers. I approach with caution.

    I saw a giant spider. I actually ran and turned on my lights 3 times the first night to check for more.

    Another camper killed a scorpion. It was tiny, pinky nail sized, but still creepy.

    Belly, sorry to worry you. We were on the phone and I was out looking for rattle snakes. When she called back, I did not answer. The day of long travel caught up to me and I passed out watching the Aqua Team.

    I read the butler artiCAL. Of course. I write for the site, duh. What does cal do? Nothing. I cannnot wait for bryguy to poop smack his candy ass.

    Mixed drinks are 8.56 each. Boo. Tonight I will ride into town for rations.

    There is a bar in town called the Cactus Club but everyone calls it "the Stabbin Cabin" because roughnecks (oil men) get loaded and stabby when they drink.

    It will be avoided.

    Transmission over

  18. HO. LEE. SHIT.

    i just got a linkedin request from a certain "Law Practice Professional".

    sorry, dawg… i don't linkin (as i prefer to be out), but good luck getting as deep as you can. just remember to admit when it's at its end.

    cal + greg. i'm out.


  19. sometimes i like to get the $18.50 bloody (or 3 of them), and each time pay with a twank, and then when my change is brought back, i pull another dirty washington from the refuse of my many cargo pockets and tip even more than the extraction-by-design based change i am left with.

    oh, you want $1.50? here's $2.50. FUCK OFF.


  20. oh boy oh boy deadliest catch season finale. DEADLIEST)(*&^)(&!#^)(&!#^

    cal wouldn't go anywhere near that shit. SO pussy. PUSSIEST.

    breaking bad is also still #BAWLLLLLLLLLLLLLIN'

    tv wins.

  21. Never watched Breakin, but would give it a shot.

    I have seen all of Entourage thus far (maybe I missed season 5) but often wonder why I watch. Bro! Bro Brooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

    We watched season 7 (or whatever the previous one was) in one swoop. Drank 1/2 a bottle of healthy pop whilst.

    I true hope is Vince dies to end it.

  22. tonight is franklin & bash & THE BEAK!

    that's right, mother fucking dawson's creek + zach morris + law drama.

    so much better than cal's life.

  23. i'd advise against a breaking bad marathon… the whole appeal of the show to me is that they have maintained an action story arc repeak loop like i've never scene before. the pressure is never released and continuously grows. maybe malcom's dad will end up killing vince and both shows can end so i can GET BACK TO WORK)(!%&#)*^!#%)(&!#%)&(!#)%&(!~^

  24. yo spacebee… i'm compelled to remind you: CUBS SUCK!


  25. After a hot day in the Oklahoma sun, I crack open a near beer.

    It gives me a little buzz, but lets me keep my edge.

    Near beer: Get Quaffing

  26. Here is an idea: you and maddddd retreat to Carla's to record an epic song about pooping.

  27. so is the point of the camp to give you many different forms of near death material to aid in your authoring?

    that makes sense.

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