Horton Babies, Y’All

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It’s my pleasure to report that Arlo and Jen had a baby last night! It’s a GIRL and everyone’s feelin fine.  Major congratulations to all three of them.

I won’t post any info because this is the INTERWEBS and doncha know a kid don’t need to start her life with her name plastered everywhere.

96 thoughts on “Horton Babies, Y’All

  1. do the initials spell anything fun?

    i have a brain disorder that makes me notice every license plate i drive past. also, i analyze the growth patterns of trees in the winter. yesterday i saw 2 gems:

    420-HUB (the car was green… driver: old bald man)
    999-MJW (gangster… you can’t be more MJW than that)

  2. both of my frogs died last night… i left the light on for the first time ever… i guess frogs really need sleep.

    they seemed healthy as shite… i would dig up worms and caterpillars and grubs every day and hand feed them… dudes would hop on over and snap at a worm like whoa.

    #RIP

  3. every fucking person i talked to about the brewers before this series would talk as if they spoke on behalf of the entire T-Plush nation and say “now WE want the cards to win because the phillies pitching is too good” and i would point out the cards had been crushing the brewers and i would much rather play the phillies (i think the brewers would have a better chance of beating them in a 7 games series).

    anyways… fucking everyone begging for a shot to play the cards. you fucked yourself. you don’t think fielder can crush any pitch from the dirt to his elbows? pitching is irrelevant. phillies suck.

  4. breaking bad season finale was awesome. always better than i could imagine.
    sunny got shitty. IRS = not funny.
    the league was bleeeeh.
    can’t wait for next monday night… 9pm… american chopper. you know the fun loving designer “jason”? he snaps and runs through the shop throwing motorcycles off the lifts.

    oh boy.

  5. i owe you $30 for the fucking jow rigged triple bogie on 18.

    how about brewers win and i owe you $35… brewers lose and we’re even.

    $5 bet at 6:1. 100% is a lot better then 5/6ths.

  6. And a twank for the Weeks Hr.

    I’ll refund the 20 if the crew loses.

    If they win, you punch yourself in the balls… on trubbs.

  7. oh yeah. fuckin weeks. fuckin gay-ry hairball taking all of muc’s ABs. fuckin punching my balls bets. in the spirit of “if it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger” i’ll take your bet as an opportunity for self improvement. sucker.

  8. Yeah, I’m done with Anderson. Hired gun, fuk em.

    Last inning he talked up Lance Lynn and the “big out” he had with the bases loaded last game.

    Weeks was fucking safe, buttkunt. You should have worked that into the conversation. Instead, he jizzed on the Cardinals.

    The booth will be texted next year. With vitriol.

  9. That solo hr was a grand called shot. Well done, sir.

    You also put your balls on the line and reclaimed a twank. Now we sit at 35.

    Holler if you want to hang. I’d be up for some ball and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I’ll be a little late to the show though. Baby CPR class tonight.

  10. i’m worried about greinke’s psychological ability to shake off a multi-run 1st.

    i have a solution though… tag the first batter on purpose.

  11. yo cal, there’s a lot of action brewing on your ability to handle my high heater. get to wisco before the snow so this can be settled.

  12. Yeah, cal.

    I think you can hit it out of the park. But I think a lot of dumb things and you are an idiot, so I’m not sure.

  13. i’d love to… but out of control sickos have ruined public nudity for everyone.

    just like shoplifting do-it-yourself meth-heads have ruined my ability to purchase advil cold & sinus (the most effective general cold remedy of all time).

    i had to go to 3 stores yesterday… eventually i got a generic brand at the target pharm, and it’s working good.

    do i get any fielders? if i catch a line drive back at me do i win?

  14. I’m not sure about the rules. Let’s just use whatever they used at Ashley Shaffer BMW with Kenny Powers and Darell from the office.

  15. Cal texted me today. He said that he was cheering for the crew even though he hates Nyjer.

    I asked why do you hate nyjer?

    He responded: he showboats and I hope he breaks a leg.

    A very gergy answer and I wished the same to him.

    Cal sucks = tru tra true

  16. Wwhazz here. I don’t know what to feel. I was checking in to get your feelings. Guessing by this comment you don’t feel good. Shit.

  17. i feel 1 thing… the brewers can’t win the world series unless marCUM can win. he buttfucked his last home start and last away start, but generally the only brewer tool that works better away, so i don’t understand why they keep pushing him at home. play to strengths… but maybe reiny is just not willing to accept that. trial by fire and such.

    i think yo should be pitching today.

    i don’t feel anything… i just feel like gambo gambo.

  18. Wwhazz here. Let’s gambo. All in on the 35. . In addition if the crew win, ball punch. Cards, I buy u cherry soda.

  19. i’m pretty sure the brewers will win… the whole point of the MLB is to sell some dogs. the dog mafia run DEEP. they shut petak down.

    so, yes… i’ll give you $35 and smack my balls. wager approved.

    #charity

  20. what did the brewers groupie have on her face?

    marcum. shaun marcum.

    he should really do something with that beard… fumanchu would be the best, but i’m concerned he would feel too self conscious about it and it would throw him off… but a change is needed. if marcum comes out with a new style odds of winning will go up a ton.

  21. Bry guys go to fantasy smack tall was “I Lin s cumed” on ur team. Marcum is a logiCAL next step.

  22. what does shaun do to the decks of playing cards at his house to give himself an edge?

    marcum.

  23. god damn MLB schedule fucks. 7pm except sundays… so now i get all fucking pumped and ready to go for the 3:05 start and now the sunday game is at 7 too.

    FUCK HEADS.

    G+ trubbbs are live.

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