The Canfield Experience (look closely)

Dubuque was great! Well, not so great as the last time, but a good time was had by all.  We also saw CAL and he even played craps with us!

From the top? Ok.

Wwhazz, Lawman and I raced out of town Friday afternoon with a gleam in our eye and the rising feevah.  Oh, we played it cool; we sauntered into The Canfield Hotel and answered all questions asked: where we were from, how we were doing, if we knew not to park next to the hotel because they like to keep that lot open for the karaoke patrons, if we had ID, if I knew what kind of name ‘Moneypenny’ was, if we had any singers in our group, if I would retrieve the front desk worker to watch when I returned from dinner and sang, how many people we had with us, when were they arriving, which room did we want, if we wanted this in one credit card transaction or two, and so on and so forth.

Once we were safely ensconced in 227 we unpacked a bit and decorated. On one wall, a 1992-1993 Milwaukee Bucks poster.  On the refrigerator, Will Purdue’s size 27 shoe.  And IN the fridge? Oh, look closely to your right and you’ll see the treasures buried there.

Soon we were out and about, headed towards Mystique Casino- which is really hands-down the greatest casino in Dubuque.  Whatever little Internet cred I have I would like to cash in now in order to say: Mystique equals GREAT and Diamond Jo’s equals DUMP.

The watchword of the weekend: see-saw.  Sally saw seashells by the seashore, and then she watched me dump five bills two hours before a triumphant six fold score.  Sally, WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY ANYTHING~!  I only had two non-craps experiences this time: I won $80 playing roulette and the next day I got straight-up mugged by a blackjack dealer for like a hundo in five minutes.  Sad, really, that they had to resort to such skullduggery.

The high(low)light of the trip was when we went to Diamond Jo’s and got treated like scum by their ever-dour team of meanmugging dealers and boxmen.  No jokes from that crew and lots of being yelled at for the smallest of infractions.  Example: I had been betting $1 Any bets off and on, but pretty consistently.  At one point I decided late to bet and reached for my chips.  I fumbled grabbing a white chip but, being just at Stick Right I said aloud “dollar any” while the dice were in the air and tossed the chip onto the table before the dice landed.  The boxman yelled “NO BET THAT’S NO BET” and then sternly lectured me on when bets could and couldn’t be made.  Look, FUCK YOU Diamond Jo’s craps pit; I have booked verbal DOLLAR-FUCKING-ANY bets from Ho-Chunk to Vegas and back.  It’s an 11.11% house edge and it’s a 7-to-1 payout on ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.  And you’re going to call my bet off and, even worse, give me grief over it?  When I’m betting hardways for your dealers all night?  How about you just eat shit and die?

At the far opposite end of the scale from the terrible, rude service at Diamond Jo’s Casino was the once-again stellar time we enjoyed at Mystique Casino.  The craps crew working over the weekend was in large part the same folks we had a great time with last December.  Really fun crew all around, and even though we only roll through once or twice a year we were even remembered by some of the people.  We had a few good rolls, a few great rolls, and a few not-so-great rolls, but we had a fun-as-hell time there.

It may be heresy, but the idea that we stay at Mystique instead of the Canfield was even discussed.  May not go anywhere, but that’s how much we hate Diamond Jo’s now.  Don’t go there; it is terrible.

Anyway, lah-dee-dah and all that- we headed out rather early Sunday morning to get back to Madison for a joint-baby shower-slash-Packer-game.  Packers won handily, which was great, because I wasn’t in the greatest head space after a weekend of fooling around in Dubuque.

Brewers News

Ugh, well, we got the news that Braun was roiding (or whatever, dude was drinking some kind of Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde potion) as we sat at the bar in Champagne, eating steaks and listening to wwhazz bitch about being made small of by the host at the entrance.  All of our cells started buzzing incessantly as Cubs fans from all over the country poured on the scorn.  Whatever, jerks, soon you’ll have Prince Fielder and you can cackle all the way to another mid-division finish in 2012.

I returned home to find that the Brewers had signed Aramis Ramirez to a 3-year deal, and just this morning the Crew traded MAGUHAHEEEEEEEE to the Pirates for a pitcher.  I’m worried about Tony Plush, but I have FAITH~! that the Great Mustache will make the right decision and extend his contract.



  1. wisconsin in december with no snow is odd… it’s like everyones driving skills are on high alert… but no slick to test them.

    894 interchange is 50 mph… i was doing 71 in the middle lane and car after car would fly past me on both sides. 94 had an average speed of 75. there were a few morons that didn’t understand hydrodynamic driven economies going 85… not realizing other idiots like them were causing the pockets of traffic that would slow everyone down to 70, allowing me to catch up each time… i used him as my ticket bitch the whole drive. one time he drove right by a cop facing the other way and slammed on his breaks and the cop pulled out… but got on 94 going the other way and never turned around… if anything he only went faster after the the near miss… eventually got completely out of sight, but i still found comfort in his ticket bitchery… then an hour later we fly past him already pulled over with an officer at his window.

    made my best raycilla to eau cleezy time ever… gassed up at the pine cone as always. got a meatball sub. it was good.

  2. ugg. if only i had the time to edit my ramblings.

    perhaps: there were a few morons going 85 that didn’t understand hydrodynamic driven economies

  3. the SOPA supporters list URL has changed… godaddy has been removed.

    boom. new list

    the “issue” they are claiming to address is “rogue websites”. i don’t think they know what the word “rogue” means, and that domain seizure affects much more than “websites”.

    congress is full of retards.

  4. i just had the show “las vegas” on… a pregnant chick was on it playing craps… she fell to the floor in pain… casino employees came to her aide… they ask, “when did your water break?”… an odd question… why would they assume it had?… anyways, she says “about 3 hours ago”, the original employee asks, “why didn’t you go to a hospital?!” and preggo says, “what… and ruin the best roll of my life?!”

    roll some bones and make some oxy acne wipes.


  5. rackspace joins list of companies publicly opposed to SOPA:
    “Rackspace said that it had studied the bill in its current form and had concluded that it would fail to achieve its purpose and harm the economy, because IP thieves will continue to break copyright laws at the expense of innocent users.”

    yo cal, why do the judiciary committee pay to maintain and host and distribute a list of companies that support the bill, but fail to pay to maintain or host or distribute a list of companies that oppose the bill?


  6. last i checked the bill was flying through the house with 97% support. obvious who are in the governments pockets.

    bought and sold.


  7. if ron paul runs as a republican, i’ll vote for him. otherwise i will vote for casey mcgehee.





  8. Some prelabor fun but still chill, going to work and such. Actual due date is Friday, so there is the possibility of a lesnar birth. I’ll keep y’all updated.

  9. We’ve been hunkered down since the 24th. I cooked a turkey, a crockpot of BBQ, red beans and rice, some shrimp pasta, crab rolls, scallops, and other fun. We’ve also watched a shit ton of tv. For some reason we always considered showtime a luxury beyond our means… Well, it’s 10 goddarn dollars a month. We watched the entire season of homeland in 1.5 days. 13 hours of joy: that show is a gem.

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