I’ve Gathered You All Here…

…to announce something that many of you already know but I didn’t say it on here because I’m lazy and I’ve been pretty busy lately.


It’s been awhile since I rapped atcha, but there’s been significant developments in the area of human development and all that rigamarole.  As in: fetal development.  As in: Spacebee and I are going to enter the wonderful world of parenthood.  As in: we’re having a kid, goddammit.  And that makes me wonder how long I’ll be able to keep this stupid website and madddddddddddd’s spacedockin’ adventures out of sight of this kid until they’re at least 45 years old.  “Whatever kid, yes, ‘space docking’ is exactly what it sounds like.  Now blow out the candles- it’s your 3rd birthday.”

In theory, this Bouncing Baby Whatever will be born January 2nd, 2013.  Let’s extrapolate for awhile, shall we?

DATELINE January 2nd, 2023: Whazzmaster is 44 and his child is 10.  The Whazzmaster Household, which currently holds five computers per square foot, is in lockdown mode after Child asks Mom what ‘boobies’ are and the decision was made to put passwords on everything up-to-and-including the cat.

DATELINE January 2nd, 2027: Somehow Whazzmaster has paid off his mortgage but that triumph is overshadowed by a more pressing development. Kid has found this very post on whazzmaster and is now asking uncomfortable questions about, well, just about everything that happened from 2002 until 2027.

I’m bored of this conceit now; on to more interesting shit!  The UP should be super fun this year, especially if Cal manages to drag hisself across the continent for the excitement.


297 thoughts on “I’ve Gathered You All Here…

  1. there are still fish in there. he is hunting some right now.

    i can tear contra 2 up… i had that one. there was a code to get 10 guys… i need that to win, but i think i’ve won before without it.

    it’s something like up, down, left, right, A, B, A, B, start…

  2. 1) lemon drop trick = gross
    2) fjdkajfdkajfld
    3) contra
    4) fkldjklfjdlf
    5) fav nes game? kid icarus possibly?
    6) would like to play with a wii
    7) this is a fake list just to get to you-know-who
    8) YES!
    9) i am one step closer to the upper penninsula i have secured passage aboard a commuter airplane.
    10) to the midwest FORTHWITH!

  3. it might be down, up, right, left, B, A, B, A start… i know i always had to try it 100 times before i got it right.

    lemon drop trip = good… works best with very strong coffee

  4. are you insane? it is UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT B A START. that code will never leave my brain as long as i shall live.

  5. hey. fuckhead. i’m not talking about konami’s standard code that worked on contra 1 and many other games…. i’m talking about the code for contra 2. a real man’s game.

  6. i told that craigslist d00d that i know his ad has been up forever, and if he is really moving and gets desperate that i MIGHT be able to convince my wife that i could spend $450 on it… but only if it works perfect and all the controls are responsive and the games run smooth.

    if everything looks legit, i’ll tell him that she said i could only spend $400.

  7. lemon drop in coffee:

    1) it makes a few TINK TINK TINK sounds as it cracks like an ice cube = fun
    2) as you bring the coffee to your mouth you get the slight aroma of fresh lemons
    3) when it hits your lips you get an instant of the faintest taste of lemons, but from then on, no lemons. no lemon after taste.

    it’s wonderful.

    8) screw 8)

  8. i just played contra 2 on a browser emu and made it to end of level 3 only dying once, but it was choppy as fuck… barely playable, but my skillz overcame.

  9. yo whazzman, n00d post on excuses why you can’t rave this weekend.

    you don’t even have access to source control… you can’t do any work.


  10. “On Sunday, Mr. Kinzler vanquished his first two opponents, shooting his customary 27 under par for 18 holes. Then in his next match, there was his mistake on the 15th hole on Tundra Peak. By the final hole, he had fallen behind by four and was steeling himself for a loss. But his opponent, Dan Weis, 47, who said he earned $20,000 playing Golden Tee last year, racked up a quadruple bogey on the 18th hole. Mr. Kinzler birdied the finishing hole for the win.

    ‘I don’t want to talk right now,’ Mr. Weis said after the game.”

  11. Holy crap the world really has gone mad. Whhhhhaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzz. Congrats, Moneypennies.

  12. i finally bought a computer phone, so if you clowns want to sext with me, HOLLLLLLLLARIT

    can someone explain why my phone says july 4th is “[wwhazz’z real name]’s circumcision”???

  13. oh man… i just wrote a novel… conspiracy to commit to whazz tournament fraud… the perfect crime… down to the most minute detail… then i thought twice about posting it… for only a millisecond, as i got distracted by work… …. ….. work done. i quit out of the web browser… close everything… work: DONE…. then i thought i might have let cal set me up!!! conspiracy is a felony. OH SHIT!! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!#%?!#%

    but then i realized i had accidentally lost all my work… i never submitted it. pages and pages of brilliant criminal plan… full technical schematics… execution… fallback… avoidance…. all lost. OH SHIT!! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!#^)(&!#^)(*!#^)(&*!#^%

    just know that it once existed in submittable state… waiting, and hypothetically if we should do it, we should.

  14. i didn’t get to tailgates last night… got all ready to go, then right as i’m finishing my drink, rach-o’s 3 cousins show up unannounced and graciously offer to let me buy them drinks at the VFW.

    we all played with our computer phones. 2 ifones and 2 droidfones. we got along though. i’m new to the game… i thought there might be beef.

  15. VFW, FTW.

    Offer to rent the back room for poker games.

    Cops dont have the balls to mess with the vets, vets love the biz.

  16. i recently aquired a professional grade frisbee not some cheap childrens crappy frisbee. i have visions of throwing it in the UP. who will play frisbee with me? wwhazz what are your thoughts on frisbee? i thought you might be interested because it is a skill outside of your far/fast limitations.


  17. yay frisbee! while i too enjoy AEROBIE (having owned one during my formative years) i am partial to the classic FRISBEE. while it is true arobie excells in height and distance thrown, a zoo monkey could easily play along. Whereas The sleek and discerning FRISBEE takes a steady, learned hand to catch and throw.

    frisbee = plastic poetry
    arobie = diversion of the masses

  18. go throw your bee around with chomsky and pretend like you know ANYTHING!#)^(*&)!&(#^

    diversion of suck.

  19. Aerobie = opiate of the masses would have worked equally as well. youuuuuuuuuuPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEE!

  20. frisbee = unintended repurposing of a pie tin
    aerobie = designed to thrive where frisbee fails

    does your bee glow in the dark? most wannabe hippies like you have the glow in the dark ones i’ve found.


  21. Let me right away grab ones rss after i can’t find your e-mail request url or ezine service. Carry out you’ve virtually any? Be sure to allow me personally realize to make sure that I could simply just join. Appreciate it.

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