Nobody Likes A Nude Post

Au contraire, EVERYONE likes a nude post.  Once dudes have exhausted all the possibilities of posting various combinations of football schlubs in an imaginary contest of wits that result in the possible accumulation of literally dozens of US dollars then someone needs to come along and clear out the detritus.  Sweep away all the hopes and dreams what could exist by betting $1 to win, like, $10 or something after Yahoo’s criminal rake.

DUBUQUE is COMING. BUNSKTER is IN.  VIOLI is INVITED.  WWHAZZ is… SOMETHING.  SCIENTIST is STRAPPED.  CAL is… A MAYBE.  Should we make reservations you think? Do I need to exercise my unique charisma and flash the Canfield VIP card to get us The Suite?  How many rooms do we need total?  When are we leaving on Friday? Morning or evening?

Did you hear? Wwhazz/belly are having another kid? Good for them! Lots of gurldicks around here.


250 thoughts on “Nobody Likes A Nude Post

  1. whazzman, are you watching “start-ups: silicon valley” on bravo?

    it’s basically a bunch of bravo-friendly effeminates trying to get $500k for a 9 month “burn-rate” on their weight loss “APP”.

    if VC people are really funding these things……….. just…… jesus. no wonder america is broken.

  2. the packer intern stopped deleting my #JORDY 1st posts, and now people have started to +1 them.

    my web domination is unrivaled.


  3. also, while watching TNG, i HOLLLAR #JORDY every time laforge says anything technical.


    hmmm… or is it….



    it is the first time i ever wished to myself, “i wish my tivo had an ‘execute cast’ function”

  5. i was told fiscal cliff means anyone banking more than 108G balls a year will pay 14G balls+ in extra taxes next year.

    do those intuitive turbo fools have the line on that??

    CAL, CAN I SUE?#%^&()!#^)*(&!#^)*(!#^

  6. uggggggg….

    it’s just like corn money, bro. mansanto will step in and create new seeds that produce plants with seeds that won’t themselves germinate. then they’ll patent the new seed, and buy off a political party to create legislation that requires all product sold must be grown from the mansanto seeds.

    it’s a fucking joke, and i 100% blame cal.


  7. madd madd you are a dadd dadd lots of girls girls. mp will you have a goodam BOY for crying out loud. thank god for timmer. you losers. WHO WILL BE HEIR TO WHAZZMASTER.COM? WHO!?

  8. I fear I shall have no heir… now even a girl one. i am approaching the winter of my life… my vision… becomeing blurred, who is there? is that you, scientist? i can see your apple ball now… throw… the high… heeat..

    Who will keep my pocket knives oiled when I ascend into the great beyond? WHO???? who will prostalitze pinkco propaganda upon thy WHO????????????????????// whooooooooooooooooo Away! away! for I will fly to thee… the viewless wings of Poesy. Thou wast not born for death, immortal Bird! #keatsbitchessssssss

  9. i recited the poem to my ladies. i got to like 6 paragraphs is EXTREME poetry before rach-o chimed in “WHAT ARE YOU READING?!#%^(&*)”

    i claimed to be reading nothing, but writing it live. i think she bought it.

    i don’t think she bought it.

    the poem reminded me of the feeling i have been dealing with in my HEATed arm. it often feels fuzzy… a dull warmth. pain? pleasure? if i take advil it goes away… i’m pretty sure it’s tendonitis, but maybe it’s just being able to chuck balls FAST AS FUCK. i’ve oft thought maybe this is how cal feels over his entire marathon punished body. warm and fuzzy all over. no wonder he is a jerk.

    i put my backstop in the garage… i’m taking the winter off….

    this spring i will born again….
    …. and throw the HEAT into the wind…
    ..or maybe throw a curve instead
    ………and strike the face of cal’s dumdum head

  10. o’neeeeeezy, have you ever made your own booze? i think it would pair nice with your sausage. am i talking about diks?

    i watched the season premiere of some moonshiners show the other night… i had never seen it before… i watched the last episode leading up to the season premiere too….

    now i don’t know if i should dredge gold in alaska or ferment bananas in the woods of montana…


  11. yo cal, did you know my brother just had a baby boy? i haven’t even met the kid yet.


  12. that DEFINITELY counts. with a copper worm or what???????

    i was 100% sure he would be into it.

    maybe i should save details for some other time. are there really people out there who would care to lock you up for that???#%!)(&!#%(*)&^%#!&()*!#%&)(


  13. what is the schedule for medallion hunt this year? i am going to take time off from work and desert my family.


  14. in the face of a public trend towards besmirching ALL higher education rather than MOST high education, i am reconsidering my position.

    i could teach THE FUCK out of someone.


  15. DUDE YES. medallion hunt is ON. it’s a little too early to get excited we need a slow burn but think of it: we go in under the cover of darkness. we find the medallion. we bring it BACK TO WISCONSIN. I’m all in I’m renouncing my MN heritage. I’m Benedict Arnold. VIVA WISCONSIN! VIVA WISCONSIN! VIVA WISCONSIN!

  16. for now we wait. after the new year we begin preparations…

    The 127th Saint Paul Winter Carnival January 24 – Febuary 3, 2013.

  17. I made that weird corn wine back in college. It was not bad. It was a good mixer with Early Times whiskey. Which makes sense since they are both corn. Also made cider which was ok.

    As i understand it, if you want to make hard liquor out of cider, you can just stick it outside when it is below freezing. The water will freeze, leaving concentrated booze/apple brandy. I never tried it, but once we got a keg for a party that was part frozen, and I think the same thing was going on.

    My uncle had a friend with a still. I saw a picture of it. It was a crazy looking contraption. He told me they used to put the booze in mason jars, and then add charred chunks of wood and age it to give it color and flavor. Also, my dad visited it once and said that to make scotch flavor, they heated a metal rod and stuck it in the booze. Pops said it worked.

  18. the united states government has already patented marijuanas medical uses

    Cannabinoids as antioxidants and neuroprotectants

    so…. i guess the other government agencies claiming that ‘marijuana is schedule 1 with no medicinal values’ don’t talk to the other government agencies… i mean… why would they? science is hard, and talking to people is exhausting. easier to just use the tried and true excuse to lock up the darkies.


  19. corn wine isn’t the same as read still, but i’ll count it.

    a guy in our dorm was constantly making different fruit wines… basically just dump some yeast in and put a ballon over the bottle… when the balloon fills up, it’s time to get drunk.

  20. I made wine in my dorm. I drank it from one of the mega cups from the cafeteria and added a bunch of sugar packets. It still tasted for shit but me and oneil’s old roommate Bran got falling down stupid drunk on it. Good old Bran. Oneil’s mom wouldn’t let us be roommates because she wanted us to have other friends. (or maybe this was oneils plan and he was sick of me…). He got bran; I got a dude named Noakes.

    Noakes was an engineering major from Kenosha. For some reason he got invited into some engineering frat (like a professional frat) that was for black engineers. He was white though. We all called him “Bro Noakes.”

    Bro Noakes used his engineering skills to loft our beds. One of his favorite things to do was get really drunk and make a puke waterfall off the side. He also had a pair of tidy whiteys that was made into a ball cap. He wore it all the time. I hope he’s still building, still puking.

  21. actually, i think the process was, the balloon fills up pretty quick, but it’s done when the balloon starts to fall over.


  22. I would think the balloon would explode. That shit pumps out a ton of gas. I had a bubbly corkscrew type thing that was full of water on the top. It let the bubbles out and kept the oxygen out. Early in the process I put too much sugar in there and the yeast made too many farts: it blew the top off and made an incredible mess. It stained my dorm room floor reddish.

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