Canfield Countdown

Just a couple more weeks before we head to Dubuque and win money yell at each other.  I really need to call up the Cannie and get 227 for us.  I watch that sometimes and think wistfully about that time Cal showed up and then it was just like home!  Cal! Bring your floppy brown hat and come to Dubuque! Please!

I can’t wait until you jerks stop posting dumb dumb dumb $5 bukkake lineups every day.  They take away from Cal’s Apple Ball Story Time and Complaint Hour, which is why I REALLY come and read these comments.  Please just someone win a trip to St Louis or whatever the Grand Prize for these things is and then LET THE DUMB FOOTBALL SEASON BE OVER.  I don’t watch sports anymore. I only watch League of Legends tournaments on Twitch or Own3d.  Yes, I’m a dumb idiot but whatever it’s way more interesting to me.  You can also watch dudes playing Call of Battlefield or whatever on there, so maybe Timmer and K-Car will love it.  They might have a screencasted mahjong tournament for Cal or something too.


239 thoughts on “Canfield Countdown

  1. thanks fellas! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! 37 years old today and what an excllent time to be alive. if only i could celebrate in the DUBBBBBB alas it is not to be. but soon i will have a job be RICH RICH RICH! yet any man is rich who has friends ding ding ding madd just got his wings… god bless us, every one.

  2. that post was a let down but it did say your friend calls himself the skeezer so you know… had to post…

  3. We have an HUNT issue. The final clue will be on THURSDAY JAN 31. This means we will need to hunt all that week. The benefit is that mofos have to work so fewer hunters out but it might be tough for daddys to travel from Wisconsin? I’ll probably come out for that week.

    MADD I’M GOING TO NEED YOUR HELP. #rememberthepines

  4. i don’t understand the issue at all. iS THIS YOUR FIRST HUNT??? OF COURSE WE’LL BE OUT DURING THE WEEK. THE HUNT LASTS 11 DAYS)&(%!#)&*(!#%&*(!#%

  5. I guess it was on a weekday last year too.

    Fuck. Work and kids makes this tough. Madddddd will work well from his labbb but I want to be in the shit.

    Does Thursday mean Wednesday night, one second into Thursday at midnight? I can probably be up there on Friday the 25th-Sunday the 27th. I’m not sure what good that does. Fuck. I’ll still prob do it.

  6. whoa, cal response love.


    Read the right sign, then look up to the sky; You’ll be wired in then and won’t go awry. You’re getting close; you’re doing just fine. With what you will see, this rhyme should align. Also cal sucks.

  7. about once a month i turn on the iprad and see’s what’s going on in zuckerfuckbook world…….. today was the day.

    best post: v-car…. (the vagina having half of the k-car marriage), and k-car arguing back and forth calling each other “bro”… then k-car quits and moves the argument to g+, bro.

    oh, coach.

  8. what is the bunk status? give me that little fucker’s number. he is coming. i was promised, and #HATERSGETDEALTWITH

    also, veeeeeeolieeeee…. i hear he balls out of control in a mercedes #BENZ. he is also coming. not coming = not option.

    WHO ELSE???? WHO ELSE????? I WILL FUCK THEM UP@^*()&@^)(*!@^#)*(

  9. i’m shooting for a desperate bachelors run in on saturday night…. i told them the desperate daddy’s could teach them about #PARTYING

  10. Ok let’s see. first clue is:

    SUNDAY JAN 20.

    I’m planning to bust into town on FRIDAY JANUARY 25 that will be day 6 of THE HUNT. So you can be there days 6,7,8.

    We should have a pretty good idea of which park it’s in by then. just a matter of finding it. Last year on day 5 or 6 I found a tin cannister in a hollow tree. it was a goddam “geo cach”

    I was incensed.


  11. i would like to wager $10 that i DO have a heart attack this weekend. i’m taking 100:1.

    hopefully you’ll be a pal and push on a stroke.


  12. guess who’s up after midnight baking and doing laundry?????

    i’ve decided to bring a collared greens shirt so the people at the mystique fancypants shrimp joint don’t have to look down on my hoodie…. but i’ll probably still just wear the hoodie.

    i hope that craps dealer is pregnant again.

    i hope the baby is mine.

  13. pre-planned debauchery:

    ask a dealer about crisco vs. pam RE: anal lubricant.

    ask a boxman what the promotions are for japanese new year… demand double points on my players card.

    k-car provided bookers and hlow. (he has failed every year so far)

    convince someone that i produce dub-step music professionally

  14. i am mad.

    i just watched “THE LEAGUE”… a TV show…. TVs are boxes that poor people don’t have, cal…. try to imagine…

    anyways… at the end… the production company changed their goddamned name to CHICKEN STICKS. i’m not lying.

    look world…. seriously… stop biting my steeze……….. I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND…. IT’S AWESOME…. I’M AWESOME…. ETC ETC….. but C’MON MAN. chicken sticks???? you’re going to take that from me? and put it on your stupid show????????

    cal. CAN I SUE???

  15. i am drunk as shit, you diktards.

    it’s 1:11 am.

    ALL #1. just like me, DIKTARDS&()!#^)*(!^_)(*!^

  16. i’m pretty sure that goddamn 1/2 5-10 limit hold’em / 1/2 5-10 omaha hi/lo is running right now…….. WITH FREE HOT DOGS)(^@&)&(!#^)(&*!^#)&(%!#*($&*(!#%

    why don’t i live in dubuque?!#%&)!#%)(!&#^

    ONE OF MY COUSINS DOES()*&!#%)(&^!#(*&!#%(*&^!#(*^&!#%

  17. ok…. i’m WAY drunk now… like…. WAY…. watching the 2nd episode of “THE LEAGUE” (cal sucks) …. and if i’m not dreaming, there is a 3-way lucha match going on.

    i am feeling very disrespected.

    this blatant whazzmastication of these thumb destroying shit-box comment threads can not be tolerated.

    it’s that fucking ruxpin behind it…. he is GREASY.


  18. i’m making betty crocker fudge brownies, while krispy kreme, in a song 99% about john cena, decides to drop that shit too…………


    and krispy can’t even be krispy anymore because that DIKTARD cal had to complain about it……….. this fucking webzine RUNS THE WORLD)(&!#^)&*(!^#)*(&!^#(&*^&*(!^&*(!#^

  19. and now a new unsupervised…… and HOCHO tomorrow…. i am surely dreaming.


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