Fantasy

Y’all are living in a fantasy; one where you move human men around on a chessboard like Chewbacca back in the Millenium Falcon break room. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about the pressure JORDY must be under to perform up to wwhazz’s atmospheric standards.

In the meantime, I went to a conference here in Madison, had fun and partied until midnight four days in row. My body cannot withstand late night boozin’ four days in a row anymore– but that used to be a Monday for Ewaz fer christ’s sake. I dunno, I just kept popping Advil every morning and shuffling back onto the bus downtown to learn more about rubies and gems. By Saturday night I collapsed into a heap on the bed and when I awoke Sunday morning I was Sick as Shit. Like, seriously. Then Way-Way got sick, and now we have to contend with a sick kid on a four hour flight. Sad face.

Sorry ladies and germs but I’ll be out Calfornia way for awhile. Maybe you’ll be lucky little scrumps and I’ll post a picture of GMX waving at you or something. In the meantime whoop it up while slave driving your ill-gotten human men to victory on the Frozen Tundra.

206 thoughts on “Fantasy

  1. obama said that his richly toned brethren shooting up a navy cafeteria was “unimaginable”… the people we trust to protect us can’t even IMAGINE that one of the people that they give a gun to will turn around and shoot them with it.

    fucking idiots.

    #SECEDE

  2. CORRECTION: the people we are forced to trust at gunpoint and threat of imprisonment without trial

    thanks, obama. i trust you.

  3. i told rach-o to change the HWK… she says “she doesn’t smell like poop, she smells like farts.”

    i don’t think she knows how the butt works.

  4. the DC naval yard story is a false flag viral promotion by navy federal credit union

    #WAKEUPPEOPLE()&*#%!)&*(!%&)*(!%#)*(&

  5. somebody squatted on RAGINGASSHOLE.COM)*&#^)(&*!%)&*(!^#)&(!#^)*(&!#^

    FUCKERS(&*#!^%&()*!#^&*(!%#^(&*!#^&*()!#^)&(*

  6. Things quickly went downhill, however, as Dobson muffed no fewer than four of his proceeding nine targets, and generally looked like he had no idea what was going on.

    #GENERALLY

  7. stupid washington shooter screwed up my fantasy team… i benched justin upton because the game was postponed, but they’re playing a double header today and it started before i could set my lineup.

    THANKS, OBAMA

  8. My team sucks. And yahoo sucks. They tell me Rice and Gronkwhatever are both going to put up lots of points but that neither one is going to play. I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure that’s #impossible

  9. i had starks as my #1 waiver pickup… some #JERK sniped him. OH, IT WAS YOU!)#%(*&&(*!^#&)*(!#^)&(*!^)&(*!^#

  10. i don’t have any packers… my normal packers mindset is caveman simple: #JORDY. every play. quick slant…. 1st down… 7 points… WINNING. playing against wwwwwwwzzzzzzzz with jordy on his team completely ruined the game for me. i was numb. i need a packer. jermichael…. cobb… starks… i’m in the market for them all. MOGWAI NOT FOR SALE. UGGGGGGGGG.

  11. so, “gwai” or “gui” means spirit, but modern chinamen infer evil. at an old job, my next door cube mate used to call me “bokgwai”… “bok” = white. so i was like the evil white demon that likes to fuck in the rain.

    #BALLLLLLLLLLLLLLIN

  12. finally realized why i haven’t been catching the latest “sunny” and “league”…. it isn’t on FX anymore… it’s on FXX…. fucking obscure cable channel banked enough cash to start a 2nd channel and demand cable companies pick it up in addition to FXNOEXTRAX. then, move all your new shows there, keep the re-runs on the old channel.

    seriously, cal. someone needs to sue.

  13. Sorry, white devil-man. You need to get out of the rain. FX is now FXX. Soon it will be FXXX and you will behold Charlie’s pecker in HD.

  14. I’m about to get out of the cable game. I started a book reader and now I have $180 cable/internet bill. I’m happy to watch the packers on the digital free tv and watch sunny and all that BS a year later when it cums out on DVD.

    That’s a lot of bukkkake cards.

  15. Last time to called to downgrade my package the fuckers pulled a switchero and dropped my bill to $153 and ADDED three more pay stations. So now I have Showtime, skinamax and stars.

    And I pretty much watch Dexter and that’s it. Even that is DVR’d and watched 7-14 days after it airs.

    In the olden days I just called Maddd and he put it on trubbs for me via the old crab tank video feed. I think I need to go back to that life.

    #lefty2014

  16. FX is still FX… it just doesn’t have any of the shows that made FX worthwhile… now there is FX AND FXX. WHY?! it’s extortion on a class action scale. all these lazy lawyers sitting around letting this happen REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS.

  17. the new ultimate fighter is just a bunch of gurls crying about what people say about them on twitter.

    #FUCKEVERYTHING

  18. overheard during this weeks fight:
    THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR EATING BISCUITS FOR BREAKFAST!!@#%@#^@$^@#!^#^!@

    why so much biscuit hate?

  19. i spent my morning posting my disapproval of FXX to all of the shows public message boards. i can ruin shit better than they can ruin shit. fuck the courts. real justice is done IN THE STREETS.

    #CALSUCKS

  20. also, what the fuck, packer pro shop…. i want to buy a jordy jersey and have the name say “#JORDY”… they say “Please enter letters, numbers, periods, spaces, hyphens or apostrophes only.”

    WHY? i can have a . or – or ‘ but not a #? WHY??????

    you lost a sale, and now i’m going to pee on your stadium.

    STUPIDITY HAS CONSEQUENCES.

    #STREETJUSTICE

  21. so… this new movie “runner runner”… benji efffflick and jeremy timberlodge in a poker movie. ben can’t just let matt and ed be happy. will it be good? i’m not convinced it won’t be.

    #LOGINWITHDISQUS

  22. So some company (some shitty, shitty internet company) listed Belly’s cell as the contact for some investment firm. So she keeps getting cals.

    I emailed (no response) and chatted to a droid in the chat (not helpful) and I left phone messages (prob to china).

    Can I sue?

  23. Ok, the chat droid said they can probably change it in 10 business days… I can sue, right!??!?!

    Fucking cal, help.

  24. fuck the courts. #STREETJUSTICE. answer the calls. act like an asshole. tell them to fuck themselves. after the complaints and better business bureau reports start flooding in to the company that was supposed to get the calls, i guarantee the number is fixed well before 10 days.

  25. Bradshaw is a pure bench option, and an end-of-roster one at that. The dream is over.

    #WORLDOFROTOCRAFT

  26. yeah, i got lost in that rabbit hole going through everything. i want something really really bad. but i must expect so does everyone else… a few of the $100 items would be more than enough, but if i would pay $100, there must be 10 guys that would pay $1000.

    i saw the aztek was starting at $1000, but the bell started at 3500. i really wanted that bell. uggg.

  27. how about this story, cal

    300 teens trash NFL players home while he is away… they post their pictures in the public domain on a 3rd party site (twitter)… he takes the pictures and reposts them asking for people to identify the criminals… the parents of the criminals then sue him.

    this is the legal system that has you chained to a slave clerk job. drop your briefcase and pick up your whittle knife. it’s time to MAKE A CHANGE

    #STREETJUSTICE

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