I just had the absolute best idea evar: Madd, where’s your rushpoker.com site? Let’s create our own cryptocurrency and only use that in the game. That would be an incredibly interesting technical challenge.

195 thoughts on “HOLY SHITR

  1. i put my bins away to makes things as efficient as possible for the garbage d00ds. not because a contract says i have to…… because i’m A DECENT HUMAN.

  2. i hear that papa johns is in talks with the koch brothers to airlift pizzas to the ukraine protest zones.


  3. It’s an opt in dick club. I think like $10 a year or something.

    I too put shit away. The club wants them put away a special way as to not offend passersby with the sight of a *gasp* trash receptacle. I mean, you don’t want people to think you are the type of people who make trash or grow weed in recycling bins, do you? DO YOU!?!?!?

  4. One of the generals hosts a tom and jerry party around christmas. I pop over for a cup of gross and some cookies.

  5. here’s my problem… garbage day is monday, but the guys don’t show up until noon sometimes… but we still put it out sunday night… but rach-o thinks it get crazy cold between 7pm and 11pm, so she puts it out way early on sunday night, so then i have to schlep out the basement garbage to the curb on monday morning…….. women don’t go in the basement to fetch garbage. #RACIST

  6. i’m on an 8 house culdesac on the outskirts of interstate gastation burger housingville after a church and forest buffer. across the street from giant community park. way fewer weird guys than the panhandle. the chaw dealers are personable… but i’m married with kids… live your life, little one.


  7. i find it very telling that there is a universally echoed mantra in software encryption: NEVER ROLL YOUR OWN.

    “they” say you’re not smart enough. you’re too dumb. only “they” can make encryption work right. (read: only “they” can make sweetheart deals with international spies and NSA domestic surveillance teams to weaken the encryption services they force on you as “standards”)

    bah. i’m going to join THE FORCE

  8. My fav part of spring training is back: cactus juice in the JS. The best one so far details some fluffy whitish dog they found roaming around the training facility. Skeezer, I’m guessing that appeals to you and your quince boner.

  9. some retards in some way connected to CBS executives and bob barker thought it would be smart to hack out major organs in my animals. now quindo can’t get a boner without debilitating pains because of how tight the tendons were stitched back together. no he’s a jerk and pisses in my house for fear his dick will hurt. he’s a beast. bob barker made him this way. so dumb. cut off bob barkers nuts already. help control the geriatric population. have your used up on camera personalities castrated or neutered. FOR THE CHILDREN)&#@&*()!#^&*()!#)*(%#!%^

  10. my wife puts diapers on the dog instead of training the beast. it makes me so angry. dogs don’t wear diapers. putting a diaper on a dog is not a sign that your dog is bad… it’s a sign that you’re a bad human. either kill your dog or train it. unable to kill it? unable to train it? you shouldn’t be allowed to buy pets. you shouldn’t be allowed to buy food. just die.

  11. whoopi goldberg’s use of “COLORED MAN.” while catching in the act and addressing tracy morgan playing a character stealing her oscar and grammy awards, was lovely.

    i prefer “richly toned”, but “colored” seems even nicer, and much more terse. the rainbow is colored. given the proper conditions, i find its use optimal.

    if someone 20 feet from me directed, “PALE BOY!” in my direction, i would probably give my earnest attention without prejudice. #HOWCANIHELPYOU

  12. Yo, paleboy, help me out, who you drafting? Jared Weaver all the way across the sky?

    Jared Weaver is made of farts
    -bryguy 2011

  13. my draft strategy is based on the old yiddish proverb, “Der mentsh trakht un Got lakht.”

    Man plans and God laughs, bro.

    also, i am HOV.


  14. trout got a million to play for a year……. does he need another million next year? buy a crib in the cleezy and drink calvert for the rest of your life. stop chasing down flies. get a tivo.

    he’s on my fish finder radar.


  15. do you know what else would be “destructive”? unlimited free energy.

    think about all the jobs down at the coal plant, and all the children supported by the MEN that work those jobs… all all the funeral home directors that specialize in BLACK LUNG OPEN CASKET ceremonies? JOBS)&*(!#%&*()!#%^

  16. in other entertainment news: guardians of the galaxy will be a flop

    whazzman has vastly different theories. i agree with the article… they keep doing all these mashup movies, and they need a way to transition out of it, so they intentionally get a whole new group of stupid batman wannabes, the movie sucks, and then they can go back to single hero movies and never speak of the wannabes again.

  17. the 2015 superbowl will be XLIX… haha. like EXLAX… the fart pills… or just LIX is funny. either way, i’ll PROBABLY watch.

  18. my gameplan is simple… right by my house is a giant place kalhari dells type place with a waterpark, minigolf, arcade, gokarts, batting cages…. the lot next door is wide open.

    we finally open JACK’S PIZZA PUTT. ever since those NAZIs at walgreens bought out our abandoned raycilla building, we’ve been scrambling for a new location. 20 FUCKING YEARS.

    the other place has OUTDOOR minigolf and INDOOR gokarts.

    FLIP-DAT-SCRIPT. indoor minigolf. olive oil pizzas. YOU’RE ALREADY STAYING NEXT DOOR WITH YOUR SPOILED CHILDREN. “hey, lets try that place out… oh look, they have pinball… your old dad used to be pretty hot on the flippers…” “shut up dad, give me $20”

    we’ll be rich.

  19. i just learned on jeopardy that the US gold reserves at fort knox are valued at just $42 an ounce on the international market.

    why are US citizens paying $1,331 on the open market?

    tell you what, SAM, i’ll give you $50 an ounce. give me a sack full.

  20. Drunk Uncle Sam, I guess.

    Do you think you can sue bry for half of your totally free empire, the losses? Gentleman’s agreement, bro.


  21. I was watching Jeopardy! and learned the literary Bronte sisters were of the scissor, not biological, variety.

    Now you know.

  22. And the Oscar for best animated short: Bad Tilapia!

    And the academy award for best short feature: Bad Tilapia!

    How you doing, folks? How you doing?

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