It’s Almost That Time of Year

You can go ahead and imagine little notes dangling around the title up there. Go on; it’s ok!

So my phone started jingling and jangling to tell me that the Brewers are playing Spring training games now. Hurray? That means it’s also time to try to fix up this old dump. #TURDPRESS amirite? I tried to move the site over to a new hosting provider this morning but AJ was screaming and I messed up the migration and then had to roll it back. #kids

So instead of moving providers (which I’ll still do but maybe not until next weekend) I just downloaded a new theme. Pretty not bad, I guess, although I’m sure you turds will find something wrong with it.

Wanna go to Vegas? We’re going at the end of September. Meet us there and party; I’ve earmarked part of our tax refund for the trip. Digression: holy shit we got a refund this year- the power of CHILD DEDUCTIONS and CHILDCARE DEDUCTIONS.

93 thoughts on “It’s Almost That Time of Year

  1. bah… if i knew you were free for rager i def would. what’s crackin tomorrow? maybe i’ll try to roll down solo. wirksu has a poker game lined up… not sure if that is just tonight

  2. wifey is getting hair did at 9am. we’ll probably hit the kiddie museum after that, then i’m 90% planning on bombing down after that. put out the APB on arugula, broccoli and indoor shrubbery.

  3. my netflix movie reco of the day is PRIMER

    whazzman, WATCH IT. it’s the same plot you described, but more believable, and it throws in the startup culture angle which makes it all the better.

    also, 100% white cast, so the racist white government will be okay with you watching it, and not add you to any homeland security lists.

  4. i haven’t had a mouse in the house since the slaughter a month ago, but i saw one hoping around the snow outside, so i got out the benjamin sheridan and blasted that fool with a .20 pellet. i think i just winged him because he hopped off weird and i couldn’t find him.


  5. here’s the basis of primer… they are trying to build a box using various electrostatic / magnetic fields so that the weight of the box. they find a strange resonance so that after the machine is started, anything that gets in the box before the resonance starts will come out of the box the moment it was turned on.

    so, they have a whole string of boxes going and they are going in and out of all of them, and things get interesting.

  6. whoops… forgot to end my sentence….. so the weight of the box WOULD BE LESS… basically for freight shipping applications… you ship a ton, but it only really weighs 5 pounds, so it doesn’t take as much gas to move it.

    given the recent discoveries with pcell technology, i was sold on the plausibility.

  7. really want a nest, but now i remember why i didn’t pull the trigger last time i got the bug….. i also have a whole house humidifier hooked into the furnace, and it has a separate controller.

    lots of people say the nest can do it, but the wiring gets nuts…. “isolation relays” and such. maybe i just hire a guy to do it, and then refuse to pay when he can’t get it to work.


  8. here is the best “fun fact” for PRIMER from IMDB:

    The device in the movie is a person-sized, metal box that hums. One scene features Abe and Aaron standing behind some trees, as they watch themselves enter a U-Haul Storage facility. This scene was filmed in Carrollton, TX (a suburb of Dallas, TX), and in 2005 these trees were cleared to build a Hummer dealership.

  9. right now an “isolation transformer” is the last hurdle between me and a 100% working heads up whazz table.

    i know enough about electricity to build and repair stuff… but i also know enough first hand about electricity to fear it…. add on knowing that i don’t know everything, and OFTEN blow things up accidentally, and it gets really hard to motivate myself to stick my hands in with the wires.

  10. The coin market is weird. There is a shop by my house that has a chalk board with the days prices. Hermit looking old men are always going in there doing thousands in transactions with the Watto behind the desk. Is it true you don’t pay taxes on that? It seems way unregulated.

  11. my first thought with the 1899 coins was “WHY DIDN’T YOU MELT THOSE THE SECOND YOU FOUND THEM????!#?%?!#”

    granted… they are really old coins and probably would sell for more than the weight of the gold… but you could walk in to any gold buyer and get cash with no ID.

    sell and OZ a day. almost guaranteed no issue unless all the gold buyers start selling their security cam footage to the NSA and they start running their facial recognition software on it and already know everything about everyone. i talked to snowy ed, and he promised me that they would never do that. NEVER. almost for sure maybe NEVER. MAYBE.

    BUT…. even though melting them is the obvious first thing to do, SAYING that you melted them, EVEN IF YOU DIDN’T, is also the obvious move. chumlee ran in the back and fired up the kiln 3 microseconds later.

  12. just got the beniez for the socal prefix……. wrong number from an el mexicana… we had the initial set of unsure hellos…. then she rapped of verse of tijauno, and i reTORTed, “estoy numero…. NO.”

    that’s called efficiency, bro. in ANY language.

  13. “hey, scientist…. why don’t you turn off the power before you fuck with electronics?”

    “FUCK YOU!(*^!#%^(*!%# WE’LL DO IT LIVE(*&!#)(&*!#^”


  14. funny thing is, today i implemented a new language construct that i made accept “is not” as well as “not is”.

    my greatest contribution computer programming syntax to date is “if set”. so many practiCAL applications.

    you already got your do whiles, homie. the waters are tainted. IF SET. want to know an easter egg secret? THE WHITESPACE IS OPTIONAL. IFSET will work. 5 characters saving you all the hassle of describing all the business logic rules about only applying the rule if a non-empty value was provided as a parameter to the rule……….. look…… this rule…… with that parameter…. only apply the rule if the parameter is set. IFSET. ones and zeroes. mostly zeroes. IDIOTS)*&%!)&(^#&()*!#^&)*(^#(&*!#^&*(!^#&*)(

  15. there are multiple companies / quacks, offering up $1 BBBBBBillion dollars if you get a perfect mens b-ball bracket.

    first off……. is that legal? second off, who is insuring or covering these bets??? do they have the cash liquid??? third off, WHAZZMAN’S GD COMPANY IS ONE OF THE QUACKS.


  16. Legal as long as no entry fee required. No wager = no gambo. Quicken Loans insured its game through Warren Buffett, who thinks he’s not going to have to pay out. But he’s got the cash. It’s a ploy to get leads for house loans. It’s limited to 15 million entrants.

  17. they said the odds are 1 in 9.2 quintillion… but that is treating every game as a flip… considering that a 16 seed has never beat a 1 seed, and only a few 15 seeds have ever won, and those games are in the early rounds during most of the slaughter, i’d say the true odds are in the low quadrillion range. maybe even lower.

    i forget how to do math… but 1,000,000,000,000,000 with 15,000,000 tries is still like powerball odds on a single ticket.

    yes, unlikely… but way possible. people have won the lottery before…

  18. submitting personal information has personal value to me… i consider that an entry fee.

    CAN I SUE?

  19. can i sue whazzman for his involvement in the parent company? i really really REALLY like one of his camera lenses and i want it.

    settle out of court, homie. I KNOW LAWYERS.

  20. how much photog are you doing? i do a fair amount, but just can’t find a justify $1200 for a piece of glass. lenses should be free. FREEDOM OF THE PRESS…. isn’t that what it means??? we all get free journalism equipment????

    THANKS OBAMA…. FOR NOTHING)&!%#&*()!#%)&*(!#^*()&!#^%*()&!^#()*!^#

  21. everyone vote for me. i’m officially running for chairman of earth. i recognize myself.

  22. my favorite thing about craigslist classifieds are people selling dirty worn used couches and demanding “NO SCAMMERS”…

    are dirty worn used couch scammers really a problem??


  23. i got a new idea for a sitcom… but i think we’ll need a pile of that A.L.F. coke to get it done.

    the show is called: A.P.I…. holy shit… now i know why i made an A.L.F. joke… anyways… the show is NOTHING LIKE A.L.F.

    all of the characters in the show represent various web services, and although there actions will largely revolve around the tasks put unto them, like taking an access token to the token refresh building and getting a new one, personal interactions are part of the job.

    V.G.H.S. style, and i’m not signing anything until we have the drift king on board.

    CALL HOLLYWOOD(&!#%&)*(!#%&*(!#%(*&!#%&*(!#%*&()!#%

  24. like one character on the show will command a cargo ship capable of space travel to MARS… this trip will represent writing data to a disk drive…

    his entire time over 10 seasons on the show, he’ll be taking single lines of a report file with a 99% empty ship. he is completely aware of the problem… he even sees the next package in line ready to go to MARS before he even leaves, but BUREAUCRACY prevents him of getting in the way… just take this package to mars and come back… from there we’ll give you the next package. over time the queue of packages builds up, but he has resigned himself to the task… eventually tending to find potential for fun.

  25. common theme: EVERYONE hates the people that represent facebook… but generally they are extremely helpful and the hate seems misplaced, but hey, you gotta hate someone. BOOK is the derogatory term used.

  26. some ruffians convince the cargo guy to allow transport of goods / people……. sex, drugs & rock & roll… it’s all in the life of a poorly architected log API.

  27. better yet, have him be a supply ship, where on mars they just have a FIFO system that automatically re-deploys the ship….. but all requests are itemized, so he keeps getting sent back for a single screw… and the lumber and screws and nails pile up on earth, but he just keeps going back and forth for a single thing. that’s much better. you’re welcome..

    seriously, lets get raYUUUUUUUUUU on board with those bing wang theory blokes. #CAHSMONEKYESL>

    uh oh.

    i think i drafted all brewers.


  28. also, humanitizations of poor security with an electrified barb wire mine field that just stops and you can just walk around it, and there is a giant freeway going around it. GIANT.

  29. when a “sleep()” command is executed against a “process”, they go sit and wait in the coffee shop and bitch about why there is no good reason they should be waiting……. but WHATEVER…… DO THEY SELL MUFFINS HERE??????? JUST BEER?!#@()%&!#)(&!#^


  30. one guy represents a hotmail API process that is jumping through all the security hoops trying to tell all the servers to restart because of some new spam email that is going out.

    it never stops.

    M$ is still relevant RE: marketing budget…. so we all get surface pro 2 excels for the set, and $5millos a yizzzzzzear.


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