FanDuel

Been awhile since I rapped atcha, hombres. Listening to wwhazz yammer about daily fantasy got to a breaking point where I created an account at Fanduel. I expect all my money to be dead money but perhaps some of wwhazz’s ancient wisdom will filter down to me and I’ll win $2.50 on a $1 entry. If only I could take five catchers a day; I’d live scientist’s dream.

 

114 thoughts on “FanDuel

  1. WOW. very interesting. i fell into the fantasy trap, but stayed clean of the daily heroin… i hear the same yammers about the the $3,000 paydays. i think i got $25 free a couple years ago and did a few. wwhazz runs his roto league tight, and i much prefer it…. even though i’m currently DEEEEEEEEEP in last place. no hope. i’m the astros. the old astros. just looking for my 10 game winning streak. #HOPE*&(!#%*(&!#%&)(*!^#)&(*!^#

  2. the market is wide open for new innovators in fight sport. UFC has devolved to boxing… that hot new shit is 10 on 10 no holds barred. #RIOT

  3. i’m seriously reconsidering my understanding of EVERYTHING. i thought you were the biggest opponent of fantasy sports anything… granted, it made no sense because you love everything else fantasy… but this is still blowing my mind. careful. you’ll get hooked.

    i’m just sitting around waiting to hear about you being the executive producer on baby geniuses 4: mo baby mo genius

  4. I don’t have the time for season-long fantasy and I don’t want to listen to kcar call into radio shows and argue with Jim Rome about whether Jean Segura stubbed his dick getting out of the shower yesterday. I have $1. I just want to pick a bunch of dudes who I may have heard of and maybe win $2.50 if all of them get an RBI that evening.

  5. season long really isn’t that much work… couple minutes a day, and for me, it eliminated the lookup for “when/who do the brewers play today?”… so basically a wash for me. maybe you already are devoting time to reading the sports page, so you’re going to do that anyways… but the 2-3 in/out add/drop decisions you’ll make every day might have you glancing at news items that you find yourself reading online before it ever gets in print. i have a SEVERE case of that. i know everything a day early, and every news source i hear it from, all i hear is editorial spin from a journalist who should fall on their sword.

    really love that the wire was made by people who actually worked in a newspaper newsroom. i did too, for about a minute when i was still in diapers, and it the depiction was pretty much spot on, save for Augustus… an energetic, principled news man is exactly what SHOULD exist… but those “kingpins” get taken down REEEEEEEEEEEAL quick.

    nowadays, a “newsman” is basically someone doing the exact same casual shit i’m doing… sucking the tit off mr. universe’s pipe… all they do is find someone willing to pay themto regurgitate it for pay… often (universally) supplemented by a 3rd party agenda from the truth.

    #BOOM

    anyways… just get in the damn league, pussy.

  6. ear to ear over that baby geniuses zinger. mo baby mo genius. i mean, WHO SAYS STUFF LIKE THAT?*(&!%#&*(!#^

    #CALSUKS

  7. Make your thesis the brewers. Bet on them when you think the bats will go boom and vs. when you think wind machines.

    The key is to build a simple machine and keep running it out there til it wins.

    The money is real– I CAN SMELL IT!!!!!!

  8. Think the facial hair theory, but sub in “cheap lead off hitters” or a certain team.

  9. The rotogrinders grinddown is an ok place to start, but don’t fall in love with it. Seriously, fuck math.

    Use your roulette knowledge.

  10. I almost made a team with Lohse-with-the-Mosht on Friday and then thought it was going to be batting practice for the Mets; turns out my cosmic intuition was right but it wasn’t specific enough to figure out which team at Coors Field East or whatever was going to be bombing em.

  11. Hate when I set a potential lineup with the intention to go back later and then wife, job, and kid yap at me until 6;07pm when I notice that hey two of my guys aren’t even playing today. FUCK~!

  12. YUP. much more of an issue in the daily games, but that’s the worst. everyone has to deal with it in the season long, and not as possible to completely avoid it like you can in the daily games. if you try to completely hedge it by only playing guys that start 150 games a year you get fucked… too many streaky guys that only play 100 and some days you’re only playing 3 d00ds. there is legit team management. it’s not all a fantasy. so pissed my fucking slaves don’t just start every day and play like robots. fucking idiots. PUT ME IN COACH. whatever… i’ll play slave owner instead. i’ve gotten lucky in the past and thought i might not suck… but this year i’m so far in last place i think i might not not suck. but i won’t give cal the satisfaction. he is the worst.

  13. season long = 10 scoring categories… 14 retards playing this season… so each category goes from 1-14… ties result in half points, but if you outright won every category, 140 is max possible score. prob need 100 to win. current leader has 106.5… cal is in 12th with 63… he sucks… 13th has 52.5… i’m in 14th with 36. it’s a goddamn rigged fluke, and i’m completely 100% sure roger goodell is mostly responsible if not for analnasalbro pulling some of the blame. i see these brewer pitchers in the “major league”… wow… that guy is the best brewers pitcher… i’ll put him on my team. nope. analnasalbro took all my tax dollars and realized he could pocket the difference if he substituted in some CHUMPS. want to know why my score is 1 in wins, ERA, and WHIP? ANALNASALBRO, BRO.

    i’m trying to fix it.

  14. Holy shit: Entourage movie is June 3. I might go to a matinee with a bottle of rum.

    #ohyeah

  15. Watching Secret of the Ooze on trubbbbs gave me a flashback: I remember seeing that in the theatre and little kids were running up and down the aisles doing sweet kicks. That’s gonna be me at Entourage.

  16. yup… i was sickly excited for entourage movie too… but not for the movie… just girly nerves hoping o’neezy asks me to go with him.

    #backrowhummer
    #69isfine
    #stickyfloor

  17. i could bring shorties down and lock them in your house and we could all go in ento-outfits. i call turtle.

  18. Onion AV club grade of F is rare, but I think it will get it. I can smell it.

    HE CAN TELL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!?

  19. nice… now those gay lovers like cal are on board too. we can do this. FUCK GOODELL AND HIS KANGAROO MONKEY LEAGUE.

    #NoMoreFL
    #ALLLLLLLLLLLLLOUEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTE

  20. i saw the HBO first look of ento… i can see the F or the A coming… looks like exactly what it should be. same as sex in a city movie. the “i see dead people” kid is in it. #LEGIT

  21. nick kroll was at some basketball game… like cavs vs atl or something, and the ento cast was there at half and he was filming them on his phone, then turned it around for a OOOOOOOOOOOH YEAH!!! now he’s in my head instead.

  22. that movie is a giant thick throbbing D.

    OH YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAH(*&!)&!~*&()^!#(*&!#%(*&!#%

  23. only 19 more minutes of OH YEAAAAAAH&&)!#%)*&!%&)*(!#%&%*()

    OH YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!#%(*&!(*&#!%#
    OH YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!#%(*&!(*&#!%#
    OH YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!#%(*&!(*&#!%#
    OH YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!#%(*&!(*&#!%#
    OH YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!#%(*&!(*&#!%#
    OH YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!#%(*&!(*&#!%#
    OH YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!#%(*&!(*&#!%#
    OH YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!#%(*&!(*&#!%#
    OH YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!#%(*&!(*&#!%#
    OH YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!#%(*&!(*&#!%#
    OH YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!#%(*&!(*&#!%#
    OH YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!#%(*&!(*&#!%#
    OH YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!#%(*&!(*&#!%#
    OH YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!#%(*&!(*&#!%#
    OH YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!#%(*&!(*&#!%#
    OH YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!#%(*&!(*&#!%#
    OH YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!#%(*&!(*&#!%#
    OH YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!#%(*&!(*&#!%#
    OH YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!#%(*&!(*&#!%#
    OH YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!#%(*&!(*&#!%#
    OH YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!#%(*&!(*&#!%#
    OH YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!#%(*&!(*&#!%#
    OH YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!#%(*&!(*&#!%#

  24. REAL FANTASY NEWS:

    i’m out of last place. cal is in last place. starting to think he doesn’t even like baseball. perhaps, never did.

  25. i spent the day replacing every part on my lawnmower. complete overhaul. cal, lawnmowers are things with engines that men use. lawn are things with grass that people with abundant water supplies maintain as outdoor carpet. carpet is stuff that homeowners have. if you have any other questions, JUST ASK)(&#%!&()*!#%(*&!%#(*&(*&)!#%

  26. got my DIY mojo back. i think i finally understand all of the monitor issues i’ve ever had. before, i wouldn’t ground the monitor chassis, but i’d get electrocuted often. when i did ground the chassis, something would blow up. now i know i do need to ground the chassis, and use an isolation transformer to keep the hot-chassis power separate from the game board power. no clue how this used to all work… original monitor must have had isolation transformer built into the video board. i have no idea, but i finally have a plan of what i think should work.

    only remaining issue then i wish i could fix is that the video screen flips to allow you to play head-to-head… but it flips the raw video feed, so i can’t splice that off and feed it to a big screen, or else every other player would flip upside down. my dream was head-to-head players, and lovsac’n spectators watching the action on the big screen. thought some sort of arduino thing to somehow catch the screen flip and then itself flip the VGA signal, but i’m not even sure i can “catch” that flip… there is a jumper on the board to turn off the “cocktail mode”, hopefully it gets a signal every time the flip should be made. maybe.

  27. wow… finally saw the ento movie… crazy that turtle banged drama’s mom. SPOILEYS*&!#)*(&!#%)(&*!#

  28. oh shit… i picked up cal’s local 2B slave… joe panik at the disco. he just went yard. #calsuks

  29. how do junebugs know that it’s june?!38905u)(!*&#%)(*!%#

    i bet that ASSHOLE cal is telling them.

    #TRAITOR

  30. this morning there was an epic fight between a robin and a white squirrel in my backy… robin must have babies… anyways, now the robin goes nuts at my white dogs, seemingly unable to distinguish them from the white squirrel.

    this color prejudice will not stand. oh, just because robin’s hate white things we make them the state bird???!%#)&*( #RACIST

    i declare my secession from all governance. go fuck yourselves.

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