I found it. I thought I never would; hell I wasn’t even aware it was kept by someone. But oh god it is the find of the century. Presented just as it was written. Enjoy…
- If you fall down, you buy a round of shots at the next bar.
- you cannot be pushed
- group consensus rules
- one knee on ground (football rules)
- Everyone has a name
- cannot be related to whazz name
- Wirkus = Marcus, Casperson = Cyliss, Zach = Tom Z., Tim = Ruben, Ross = Cletus, Ewaz = Smith
- Max time limit: 1 hour, Min time: 1 drink, exception: if wait is long or no fun possible, move along
- Magic Bar
- Pick a bar win $5
- Marcus = Monday’s
- Tom Z. = PortaBella
- Cletus = Bullfeathers
- Ruben = The Pub
- Smith = Cafe Montemarte
- Cyliss = Red Shed
Bar #1: Regent Street Retreat (Ruben)
Notes: – $1 High Life
– $2 Brats and cheeseburgers
– Phi eagles are fucking us
– Cletus defeat Tom Z. (pool)
– Cyliss = sick
Bar #2: Buck’s (Marcus)
Notes: Buck Hunter II Tournament: Tom Z. over Cyliss, Smith over Marcus, Smith over Tom Z. for the title
– OJO = Great Hunter
– Very nice naked lady pics
– Giants win ($100) + 4 team [TIKI BARBER IS ON THE TAKE!]
– 2:55 bartender cajoled us into shots (Kamikazes)
Bar #3: Big 10 (Tom Z)
Notes: – Hockey game: tie, goes into overtime RUBEN WINS IN OVERTIME!
– Cyliss: can’t breath through nostrils
– Things have taken a turn for the worse for silas
Bar #4: Stillwaters
– Seated by an Ewaz friend
– It was STRESSED that we will be here only for one drink.
– Mindy chose that next we will go to Vintage Bar & Grill
– Cletus is Jackass
– Fred Game was explained
– Pepper Fake Out Cyliss vs
Bar #5: Vintage Bar & Grill
– Initial reaction: Frummy
– Tom Z. = insane
– Tom Z. breaks rules and orders vodka + tonic… with a lime and short black straw
– 6:05 = Tom Z is drunk
– Vintage = Vice City
– Cyliss = cig from mouth
– Pit Game = Tim Champion
– Cyliss win all… uses honor… what a champ!
Bar #6: Plaza
– Marcus and Cletus are drunk
– Cyliss and Tom Z. begin moose and bear hunt
– hockey war also continues
– hockey war = Cletus [unintelligible] dept. store 2 wins
– Drunk Stories:
- Picaresque Part 1
- “Shooting Fatigue”
- Rhonda call #2 took place
– Cyliss is the Moose/Bear Hunting Champion: Bar none.
– I’m writing, I’m drunk: Smith
Bar #7: Badgerland Bar & Grill
– Lots of memories shared
– Picture taken in bell pantry
– Smith wins $5 bet
Bar #8: Irish Pub
– Viewed picture of Marcus and Kenny
– Cletus left for dead
– “I’m not doing this to hurt you cyliss.” – Marcus – S.S.
Bar #9: The Pub
Supplemental Dan P.
– Cast: Dan P. = Garrett, Dan P. Girlfriend, Melissa = Britney
– Vodka + Red Bull
Bar #10: Orpheum
– No one wanted to go to Orpheum, we picked again: Best Western Hotel, NO! Then we picked, Tutto Pasta!
Bar #10: Tutto Pasta
– It is a good chance that Smith will puke up yellow mustard stuff tomorrow
– Lynn (Fancy Face) meets us
– We ate dinner
– The drunkards consist of: Tom Z., Smith, Marcus, Cletus, Ruben, FancyFace not drunk yet.
– Women at next table (large breasts) told us to “turn it down”. Tom Z. told them to meet us at King Club.
Bar #11: King Club
– $5 cover
– BADGERS WIN! BADGERS WIN! <- 31-28
- 2 belvy gimlets = $14
Bar #12: Paradise
– Marcus was nursed back to health by Tom Z. (Anchor Bank)
– PBR ME ASAP!
– FancyFace’s motto: “It’s Redonculous!”
– Wirkus is ready for the wedding speech!
– Jamal’s motto: “It’s very abrasive!”
Bar #13: Madison Maduro
– Tom Z.’s throat is killing him
– We hate the bartender
– David is ON A DATE! DO NOT BOTHER!
– Tom Z. drinks a Woodchuck Cider
– FancyFace’s special bar is Up North
– Guy said “no shooting” (bartender) (it was weird) (nuff said)
– They need to “as fancyface says” “regrout” their bar.
– Contact Adam Gehrman about regrouting. He knows how to do stuff like that.
– 12:37am: SMITH TAPS OUT!
Bar #14: Essen Haus
– Sean buy more pretzels… mmm… mmm… mustard. Quealy —- Go to school… damn it… that mustard is hot. Wirkus is tearing off pretzels with crazy mustard.
– We are all wasted except Sean
– Harry Potter 2?? from Sean – cin… yes / M.P. Yes
– M.P. Company says go see H.P.2– no says kill myself
Bar #15: Up North
Enter God Only Knows
– “low-rise jeans are only made to show panties, especially g-strings” – fancyface
– Kritin Lomas + Cletus = LUV & WHAZZ
– Tom Z. = James Joyce (w/hat)
– Royce da 5’9″ just got signed to the Brewers… infield.
– Ruben = wasted. Threw cigarette on ground rather than give it to fancyface.
– overall a good night
– Marcus: “this meighborhood is not built for mirth”