Category Archives: NUDEPOST

Die Spammers, Die

This blog grows ponderous in its time requirements; WordPress is the worst blogging platform out there, except for every other one. This afternoon I enabled a few more spam countermeasures; two of which are easily circumvented. The only way to really end spam forever is to make it so that only logged-in and approved users can comment, but you savages refuse to create accounts so there’s not much to do.

I’ve again considered taking down the blog and putting up some Discourse forums, but I suspect you wouldn’t want to create an account there either. Better to just Snapchat, I think.

Someone Found That Goddamned Medallion? Good.

Each year I delight in your feverish, paranoid riddle-humping conspiracy theories but I can only stand them for so long. So an underpaid newspaper staffer hid a dirty puck in a pair of jeans with a terrible poop stain and that’s wholesome family entertainment that we’re all supposed to get behind? You’re a state of perverts and lunatics, Minnesota.

Hey look, that guy that kcar hates is being reported on by The AV Club. I’m not his biggest fan, but at least I don’t hate the guy!

Bitcoin is so yesterday. I turned my GPU into a DOGECOIN MINING RIG. TO THE MOON. SUCH DOGE.

The Miraculous Mister Bumpaddle

puts "Hello World"

So, er, what’s happenin’ with y’all? I’ve just been coding my ass off lately; last weekend I was in IL for a wedding and managed to code up an initial version of a home page for our local Ruby meetup. And since I was moved off of the desktop team and started doing web development full-time at work I’ve been rampaging across a code base, refactoring and improving things every day. It’s pretty energizing!

In the background, shit’s been busy as hell since July, er, April I guess. I feel like we’re emerging from an every-weekend-going-somewhere-or-someone-coming-by… case in point: today I deep-cleaned my kitchen for the first time in, well, ever. There was lots of gross stuff, and I may have gone overboard on usage of CLR but I’m much happier with the result. Tomorrow morning: try to do something about the nightmare that is my backyard.

Go Packers.

Fantasy

Y’all are living in a fantasy; one where you move human men around on a chessboard like Chewbacca back in the Millenium Falcon break room. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about the pressure JORDY must be under to perform up to wwhazz’s atmospheric standards.

In the meantime, I went to a conference here in Madison, had fun and partied until midnight four days in row. My body cannot withstand late night boozin’ four days in a row anymore– but that used to be a Monday for Ewaz fer christ’s sake. I dunno, I just kept popping Advil every morning and shuffling back onto the bus downtown to learn more about rubies and gems. By Saturday night I collapsed into a heap on the bed and when I awoke Sunday morning I was Sick as Shit. Like, seriously. Then Way-Way got sick, and now we have to contend with a sick kid on a four hour flight. Sad face.

Sorry ladies and germs but I’ll be out Calfornia way for awhile. Maybe you’ll be lucky little scrumps and I’ll post a picture of GMX waving at you or something. In the meantime whoop it up while slave driving your ill-gotten human men to victory on the Frozen Tundra.

Line of Literary Inquiry

Allegory,  Allusion,  Metaphor. How do they relate, and how do you define each, specifically?

An allegory may be thought of as an extended metaphor according to this pageExamples of an allegory are such works as fables and parables. The importance seems to be placed on the long-form nature of the work, as well as the ability to tell two (or more) narratives simultaneously. Setting, characters, and plot are meant to tell a literal story as well as a second story dependent on symbols. If one were to construct a story about a country mouse that moves to the big city, works at a hamburger joint, and ultimately gets a law degree from a school flirting with de-creditation to get a non-paying job at the local Hall of Justice, it could be construed as an allegory of Cal’s post-undergraduate life. Oh yeah, a chapter where he lives in Chicago would go well in there too.

An allusion is more a short- form work (often a sentence or two) that references another person, place, event, or cultural touchstone in order to provide a stronger punch of a specific mood or emotion to the reader. It’s meant to draw on a reader’s presumed experience with the referenced thing to leech the associated thoughts, opinions, and feelings into the work using the allusion. For example, “I felt a sinking sensation in my belly, as wwhazz must have felt coming down the ladder of the crane only to see a police cruiser’s spotlight shining directly in his face.

A metaphor is a work of variable length (as suggested by the existence of the term extended metaphor). It’s a figure of speech; the ideas it connotes are figurative in nature as opposed to literal. The differences between metaphor and simile are well-known to middle school students paying any attention at all, but while similes are the fart joke of the literary world (ed: metaphor) the metaphor is like the steadicam shot from Goodfellas (ed: simile). “Kcar’s brilliant take on the SPASH state softball tournament was a shining beacon in the utter blackness of Northern Wisconsin Prep Sports Reporting.

Metaphor can sometimes be confused with hyperbole; “The Madd Scientist is cuckoo bananas.” is mere hyperbole as opposed to metaphor, as we’re not trying to draw a connection to another literal idea (i.e., insane) but merely exaggerating the truth, which is that he’s bananas.

What’s the difference between me and you? About five bank accounts, three ounces, and two vehicles. Now, what’s an analogy and how does it relate to these literary ideas?

TURDPRESS

Watching Scientist’s mind fracture upon the rocky shoals of fantasy baseball brings happiness to me; I love the dude but I always like my distaste for the phenomenon to be validated.

Here’s a neato Michael Jackson concert from 1988:

HELLLLLLO LADIES

Scubby sent me a link of Cal, v2013. I see a resemblance but I’m not yet willing to believe that he left California, moved to Sheboygan, grew eight inches, and tricked a UW scout into believing that he could play baskets n’ balls.

For the rest of you folks, know that I have been following the chatter on wm but have been quite busy between work and child. I hope you’ll excuse the radio silence and just keep clucking about obscure MMA fighters, guns, poker, and Cal. I saw that I was invited to the CWS Holiday Party; wish I could go but shit’s still going down at work. I’m off the entire month of April so we have some free time. Perhaps we could go on a road trip around Wisconsin and visit friends with the baby. Scientist, you can marvel at how such a tiny thing could cry for so many hours straight. Kalish, you can live (or re-live) the thrills of waking up at 2am, 3am, 4am, and then 5am (up for good at that point) while a tiny wretch screams his head off. PARENTHOOD~!

Have scotch ale on hand.