Spacebee, her sister, assorted friends, and I all went to Summerfest on Thursday. I got her Tim McGraw tickets for her birthday back in February and she was ready to cash in. All in al it was a good Summerfest trip– we stayed at the Hilton in downtown in Milwaukee and I got mistaken for Jason Aldean when we pulled up in front. The concert itself was pretty fun (really drunk) and then we walked back to the Hilton from the Summerfest grounds afterwards.
Saturday morning we played disc golf out at Elver Park. I’d like to do it again, so anytime anyone wants to toss some discs hit me up. I also played golf on Tuesday at University Ridge with Scubby and down in Racine yesterday with my brother and JOEY~! Yo wwhazz, my bro said he was going to have a poker tourney at his new house for his birthday this year– reserve August 23rd or 24th.
Finally: C.C. Sabathia. I’m of mixed thoughts about it. On one hand I hate to see them deal LaPorta; I would have rather them dealt Prince now and brought LaPorta up. But I see why they did what they did– in a push for the division they’d rather have a known arm AND a known bat rather than take a chance on bringing up LaPorta in the heat of a pennant race. However- I’m seriously concerned about next year at this point. Sheets will be gone, CC will be gone, our top prospect is gone, Cameron is gone. At a cookout the other day when someone broached the idea of dealing Prince I was shocked at first, but the idea makes a lot of sense. He hasn’t really shown consistency, and his leadership seems (from afar) more like bullying. If someone else wants a guy who hits 50 homers one season and 25 the next, and wants to deal us an arm for him I say go for it. More and more in retrospect I like the Braun deal.
So, overall I’m concerned that they’ve mortgaged the future to make one final push in the division. I suppose that’s pretty much the only way a small-town team can do it these days. But if the Cubs keep surging and the Brewers fizzle out– *shrug* there may not be much to look forward to next season. I’ll stay optimistic for now, though. This is the first time the Brewers have won a mid-season pickup sweepstakes in… well, ever?
Since I have a few spare moments before Judd saunters (and believe me, if you saw how he approaches my house in the morning, there is no other correct word) up to my door begging for carpool opportunities, I’ve decided to highlight a leetle bit of what I’ve been listening to lately. Now, I know that I have the epower to swing world opinion on music in a single bound, but I’ll take that chance. After all, what’s the internet for if not obliviously posting my opinions on everything from theoretical economics to joe’s casino, where the dealers be jank?
Here are some items you should add to your collection, should you have the exact same blah mainstream taste in music that I do:
- Tonight, Not Again – Jason Mraz Live at the Eagles Ballroom (try the following tracks to get a feel: Curbside Prohpet, No Stopping Us, Sleeping to Dream). Judd got me on this, and it’s pretty good. Dave Matthews-ish with a small amount of pop-hop flavor. Dude sings real purty-like.
- Satelite Rides – Old 97s (especially Buick City Complex and Designs on You). Yeah, yeah. Everyone in the universe knows and loves the Old 97s and I’m a schmoe for being so late to the party. Eat me, hypothetical abuser.
- Much More (single) – De La Soul. This is the one they did on Chappelle’s Show that one time; I’m still listening to it 1.5+ years later. “I play play the xbox instead of fuckin’ with dice” gets me every time.
- Brass – The Minibosses. Holy shit inna grocery store shopping cart, if you ever played Nintendo I implore you to buy this CD. It’s great, that’s the truth, and I won’t say another thing until you’ve listened to it and praised its greatness before me. Also, gimme 5 bucks and we’ll call it square. Yeah, I said it, you owe me a five spot. What? You don’t remember? Cough up the dough or start runnin’.
In preparation for Judd’s wedding, I’ve officially been ordained by the Universal Life Church. Here were some of the ground rules:
- Please don’t ordain other people without their knowledge.
- Please don’t ordain famous people or cartoon characters.
After the process was complete (I did, by the way, feel a slight influx of God upon clicking the submit button) I officially became… wait for it… Reverand Zachery Jonathon Moneypenny. Oh hell yeah. Some of my powers, for those that still aren’t inspired and/or in awe by me:
- I can perform marriages, which, given the reason for this whole thing, is good.
- I can perform certain rites (Last Rites, Sacrament, Baptism, other stuff) but one Rite is explicitly not given to me. Sadly, I cannot perform circumcisions. Foiled again.
- I can absolve people of sins. Next party I have, everyone who stays til 3am gets their sins absolved free. Otherwise, if you want everyday absolvement, it’ll be five bucks, or you buy me a Taco Bell lunch (which could be under five bucks, depending on location).
I was trying to get my dad to buy my big screen TV and have it shipped to Wisco so we can be rid of it. I tried to make him a really good deal. He gives me $1000 (10 one hundred dollar bills) and he gets the following:
- One 51″ Sony TV
- I will marry his daughter to someone.
- I will perform one marriage to be named later (of his choice).
I think I’m really close to striking a deal here. Keep your fingers crossed, Whazzmaster.com. Also, I wish I could cross my arms, I-Dream-Of-Jeanie style, and turn people into salamanders. Also, some kind of voodoo and/or hoodoo powers would be nice. Finally, I’d like a really big robe to wear when I perform magic. I’ll also need flash powder by the pound.
Someone made a terrible mistake.
— i just absolved myself of my sins. i think i’ll do it after lunch as well.
Last night I briefly considered doing that thing where you listen to the Top Seven At Seven on KMEL and then call in with the list to win some Kanye West tickets. Then I realized that doing so would be thoroughly ridiculous and went back to cleaning my bathroom.
In other news, I’m probably going to make my wedding room reservations soon. Big J, I’m just getting a room for Friday night because I’m staying with Wwhazz in his SWEET on Thursday. Let me know if you want to be in on that (Friday).
Jessi’s sister wants me to sing the Love Stinks song from The Wedding Singer in lieu of giving a speech. My thought was to go the Maid of Honor route and just go up there and cry and blather for 5 minutes. Wwhazz’s idea was for me to mumble the whole thing. My second idea was to tell a bad beat story from Pokerroom.com, as if I was telling an allegory, then conclude with, “Fuck you, davisdavisX99, you river piece of shit,” and sit down. I had another idea this morning: cut a wrestling promo where wwhazz is my tag team partner and he’s about to get a singles shot at the IC title. Then at the end, I’d hit him with my chair, steal his title shot, and marry Jessi.
That just made me realize: you two should re-enact the start of the McMahon-Helmsley Regime. Wwhazz, you take Jessi to Vegas and drug her. Marry her at a drive-through church where you say her “I Do” in a falsetto. Then bring her back home and have a “Love Her or Leave Her” street fight with her brother. If no brother can be found/exists, a handicap match against all of her sisters will suffice.
(throw a) discus
Just to piss Scientist off, I want say that Kanye West’s new album is pretty good. I especially like track three (Touch the Sky) which has the marvelous lyric “I’m tryin to stop lyin like Mum-Ra…”
Also, Whazzmaster Suicide Football closes at midnight tonight. Sign=up before then if you want a chance at a bottle of Dom. Fuddruckus? Manders? Are you out there? Does timmah still come to this website? For a look back, check out this link.
Via EvilAntnie, I implore you to check out the band TreeWave’s website. It is a band that makes music entirely from old computers and dot-matrix printers. In particular, I encourage you to check out the mp3 for Sleep. Hear that? Hear that printer going “rehhh-rehhh-rehhh” in the background? Wrap your noodle around that. Plus, for any Scientists out there, check out the ~SWANK! ASCII website.
Last Tuesday Erin fond out that Dave Matthews Band was going to be playing SBC Park on Friday with the Black Eyed Peas opening. She went nuts and started bidding on tickets on eBay immediately, and so it was that Friday morning at 11am our kindly neighborhood postal delivery woman handed me a Priority Mail envelope worth $125. The tickets were on the field, stage left, two sections from the front of the stage. We took the CalTrain up to the city and got there around 5:45p. We ate some food and then went out to our seats.
The stadium was pretty empty as the BEPs came out; I guess San Francisco operates on Judd Standard Time. They put on a great opening set, and I drank my first two of many beers of the night. From seven until eight we sat around and watched the place fill, and then at around 8:15p DMB came out on stage.
I don’t remember the exact set list, but it was pretty even between old stuff we did know and new stuff we didn’t for the first 3 hours or so. The problem: the last train left SF at 12:01a, and the only train before that went at 10:00p. We looked around at the thousands and thousands of people who came by train and saud “we’d better get there before they do.” The band was still going strong when we left at around 11:00, and I’m not sure when they eventually got done.
I had a really good time, though Erin declared it a bit “mellow” for her tastes. The two guys next to us were your typical 19 year old DMB fans. They were so-so until they lit up about halfway through the show. Then they were dancing like they were at a rave, and every tmie one of the band members’ faces came up on the monitors they’d scream: “Boyd! Wooooooooo!” or “CARRRRRTTTTER! WOOOOOOOOO!” The two girls on the other side of us bought two beers each, and the one next to me set her beer down in front of her. Every time someone entered or exited the row she would yell, “WATCH OUT! There a beer RIGHT HERE!” and point down towards the beer. Most of the crowd was sympathetic to her protecting ehr alcohol at all costs, except for one older lady who was dressed far too well to be at a Dave Matthews concert. She barged through to get to her seat and kicked the beer through the air, then was only mildy sorry to the girsl who were screaming. I think what amused me at the time is that literally seconds before the lady kicked it, I was joking around and pretending to kick it, which provoked mock outrage from the girls: mock outrage soon followed by real, genuine-article outrage.
If you haven’t heard the full five part version of R. Kelly’s Opus to Cheatin’, “Trapped in the Closet”, you are really missing a ridiculous treat. I don’t know what R. Kelly was smoking, drinking, eating, or fucking when he came up with the idea for this lunacy but it is very entertaining in a car-crash sort of way. The background effects are awesome, and when R. threatens to shoot someone if they don’t tell him what the hell is going on. Also, the way he supplies his own censoring “boops” over the swear words is hilarious. “Girl you better cut the bull*boop*!” Sometimes I think he says *doop* instead of *boop*. The only thing I haven’t figured out yet is whether R. is aware of the massive, slap-you-in-the-face hypocrisy of the protagonist when he gets caught cheating on his wife with another married woman by that woman’s gay husband (who just got home with cruisin’ with his boyfriend Chuck) and then goes home and gets pissed that his wife was cheating on him. ARE YOU AWARE THAT IT SOUNDS AS STUPID AS IT IS, R. KELLY? I demand to know, if only for my own sake.
The CD comes with a DVD that contains the long-form video of the whole cheating saga. I can’t wait to watch it when I get home.
Also bought the new Missy Elliott CD and the new Oasis CD. We’ll see how those turn out.
I recently got “Go!” by Common and “Get By” by Talib Kweli off iTunes and I’m really liking them. I believe, though am too lazy to prove, that Kanye West produced both tracks. If I had to rate them, “Get By” would definitely top that particular list, but they are both great. Erin recently got the new Black-Eyed Peas CD: Monkey Business and I have to say it is fantastic. I was never a huge fan, but I enthusiastically declare the album The Shit.
By the way, I really liked The College Dropout so I’m listening with more-than-average interest to the first dribblings off Kanye’s new album (“Late Registration“). The first single is pretty OK; don’t hate it but I’m waiting to see whether it’s going to be worth a purchase. I’ll report back to Whazzmaster.com once I have some more info.
Before I leave work for a weekend of housecleaning and (hopefully) fix-up projects, I’d like to give you a view into My World. Lately, it’s been fashionable around blogtopia (thanks skippy!) to play a little game called Random Top Ten where you turn on your iPod, enable Shuffle, and list the first ten songs that leap out of your headphones (or speakers if you’re lucky enough to have an office rather than a cube). So, without further ado, here are RAJ’s Random Top Ten:
- Trying to Find a Balance — Atmosphere
- Slacker — Techn9ne
- Many Men (Wish Death) — 50 Cent
- Ain’t No Fun — Snoop Doggy Dogg
- We At It Again — Timbaland & Magoo
- Sing For The Moment — Eminem
- Real Love — Mary J. Blige
- Scar Tissue — Red Hot Chili Peppers
- Players Ball — Outkast
- Considerate Brotha — Timbaland & Magoo feat. Ludacris
In the interest of full disclosure, I’m working off of the My Top Rated playlist. Next week I’ll try to go off a different one. We’ll see what comes up. Have a good weekend; smoke ’em if you got ’em.
Apparently killed in Kansas City, MO on Monday. I hadn’t heard until tonight.
–whazz in peace, brutha