Category Archives: Work Related

High-Flyin’ Harry

Welcome back, y’all. I been downright spacious around here lately, as I motored back and forth between Madison, San Francisco, and Chicago. I’m around for a minute now, though, and hoo-boy can I say that it looks like the Brewers are gonna suck this year. What’s the deal with airplane food? My flight from SFO-MSP had to make an emergency landing in RENO because some guy had a heart attack or something. I dunno- they landed the plane, EMTs came on-board and carried him off, then they gassed up the plane and we flew away. I would have liked to stay in Reno and GAMBO but alas we never got off the plane. HARRAH’S (HARRY’S)

Here’s the juicy news I heard while out in the yay area: 4nyay has a son now. If we ever see him again we can congratulate him, I guess. I didn’t bother looking Cal up because I didn’t have enough time to trudge into the city via train or car.  Instead I frantically tried to get all my work done so they don’t fire me.

This week: DOO-BOO-QUEUE. Next week: THE WORLD.

Are we going to the gol-dang ewe-pee? I need to know so’s I can ask off from work.

Where Should I Go From Here?

Whelp, looks like the ol’ Windows Desktop Application gravy train has pulled into the station; EVERYONE OFF THE TRAIN. To stave off Cal-like irrelevancy in the programmable compuhoosit marketplace I have to choose which type of development to focus my efforts on next. So, in an unbelievable act of stupidity I ask the Community what I should look to do in my career– should I focus on:

  • Windows 8-style App Store development?
  • Desktop Mac App Store development?
  • Javascript SPA (Single Page Architecture) front-end development?
  • Java Web Services development?
  • iOS (iPhone/iPad) development?
  • Android development? (Not gonna happen)

Any ideas? Lawman? What do you think? Does Jen H. have any ideas for what I should do next? Blargle.

I Am In India

I am in France. It is 8am here but in reality it is 1:26AM Central Time.  The Paris airport is odd; Gucci and Burberry stores everywhere I don’t think I can afford to even breath the air in here.  I don’t know how much this internet is costing me but I’ll just go ahead and assume it’s a ton.

The flight from Detroit to Paris was uneventful; I didn’t have the fancy-as-shit lie-flat seats for that leg (although I think I have one on the next flight) but the service and food was amazing.  The nice lady in the seat next to mine dumped a glass of red wine on me when they came to collect our dinner plates. Sad time.  I slept for about 2 hours.  I have to say it was odd to get on the plane at 6pm (light out!) fly across the ocean and get out at 8am (light out!) while not having 14 hours actually elapse.

It just occurred to me that you fools might be hanging out.  Nope, just checked and you’re not.

So anyways here I am in Paris.  Well, the Paris airport at any rate.  I’ll be moseying along to India in about 2 hours.

My Itinerary: 1 hour flight to Detroit, 4 hour layover in Detroit, 8 hour flight to Paris, 3 hour layover in Paris, 9 hour flight to Bangalore.  Left Madison at noon on Thursday and I will get into Bangalore at 11:45pm Friday.  I’m meeting Fuddruckus on the other side of the planet for breakfast on Sunday.  He’ll likely be late.

[UPDATE 1]  I am in India.  Had a snafu at the airport and couldn’t find the driver so I took a shady-as-hell cab to the nicest hotel I’ve ever stayed in.  My room is dope as hell, and I’m starting to unwind from The Eternal Traveling.  It’s 2:06am local time and my body has no idea at all what to do.  Not real sleepy, not entirely hungry.  I think I’ll drink a beer? Maybe?  More to come; the weekend is for jet lag recovery and figuring out how to do a speedy INR-to-USD conversion in my head.

[UPDATE 2] I am in India.  I spent the vast majority of my day drinking champagne at various sites in the city.  Met Fuddruckus for coffee in the morning and then had a bottle of prosecco at the Lotus Pavilion. Later on we met up with some other Intuit folks for brunch at the Leela Palace; holy hell was it expansive and delicious.  I fell asleep at 9:30pm but am now completely awake at 3:30am.  Today is gonna be one tiring affaire. Did the Packers win?

[UPDATE 3] I am in India. Spent the day here with the rest of the team. It culminated in drinking Budweiser at a nearby resort and having a dance contest with a coworker that drank a bottle of wine during lunch.  #iwon  Going out shopping with fuddruckus before he heads back murica but later tonight I’ll update with more and answer scientist’s questions from comments.

[UPDATE 4] I am in India. Q&A Time! I am sleeping well these days, and I woke up this morning and hit the gym for awhile.  Now I’m sitting in the pavilion drinking Kingfisher and reading the internet while I install a build from the India servers to my triage machine.  As such, I have the luxury of time and so I will answer some questions I have received:

  1. how is butt? exploding? No, my digestive track is holding up pretty well.
  2. how is not getting kidnapped? kidnapped?  No, I have not been kidnapped.
  3. how is champagne? cheaper? Way more expensive, but hard to tell because of exchange rates.
  4. how is fudddddddd? escaped back to amurika? He achieved exit velocity two nights ago and should be back in the Yay Area now.

Regarding the Flat Tire Disaster of Oh-12:

  1. was it a joyful learning experience? Joyful? No. Learning Experience? Yes.
  2. was it a slightly annoying repressed anger feigned smiles experience? It’s hard to be angry about a flat tire when you look out your car window (on your 45 minute-to-2 hour commute) and see unbridaled poverty and destruction everywhere, all the time.  Like, if you ever have a meeting scheduled with someone in Bangalore and they are 10 minutes late I implore you to not be mad or give them shit.  They were possibly detained by literally a cow being in the middle of the road.  Not a rural road either, a downtown throroughfare.  Like if Market St traffic in SF was ground to a halt because a bike hit a cow.
  3. was it an all out scream fest? did you chastise the driver? the driver’s company? the people that set you up with the company? No, no, no, and no.  We felt real bad for the guy and tipped him extra huge ($20 ~ Rs 1000 which the biggest bill available in this currency) because he had to pay for the new tire(s) himself.  The whole “hole in the tire and then the spare tire was also flat” situation happened Monday, but on Thursday when we arrived at the office we got out and the damn new tire had a giant hole in it.  The driver looked sad and then we felt sad.

[UPDATE 5] I am in India.  I’m at the hotel’s Sunday Brunch right now. Really nice (though not as wonderful as the Leela Palace brunch last weekend), but something is starting to get to me.  I realize that this paints me in an unflattering, stupid-american light but I’m starting to lose my shit with regard to eating.  I’m down to about one meal per day because I’m starting to not be able to stand Indian cuisine at every meal.  I’m usually eating a VERY large breakfast because the buffet at the hotel includes many Americanized dishes I can gorge on before I head to work with the looming lunch choice of <Insert Something> Curry and Rice or a McDonald’s Spicy Chicken sandwich.  In the eight days I’ve been here I’ve eaten dinner three times, with one being a team dinner at another swank hotel, and two being pizza from room service.  I must commend the ITC Garndenia on their pepperoni, bell pepper, and fontina pizza: it is GOOD.  The restaurant also makes a very, very good asparagus and pea risotto.

I just decided I’m going to eat nonsense for brunch today and skip dinner again. I’m already TIPSY~! on two big rum & cokes (hi spacebee!) so I figure I’ll stuff myself with biryani, sushi, veggie fried rice, and a shitload of desserts and then sleep the afternoon away.  I may call up Fudd’s homey Anup (a very liberal local Intuiter) to hit some kind of karaoke tonight, I guess we’ll see if I’m hungover by 4pm or not.

Also, hurray to Taipei Assassins for winning the League of Legends Season 2 World Championships!  I had a very fun (if early) morning drinking hotel room coffee and yelling at the internet.  That shit was seriously 1000 times more entertaining than the Super Bowl.

Nude Post, Bendyworks Edition

Today I started coworking in downtown Madison at Bendyworks.  I’ll be working here 4-5 days a week and splitting the difference at home or over at Alandovos’ place.  I’m primarily doing this because I felt I wasn’t able to focus lately at home and I’m scared that after Teh Baby arrives I literally won’t get any work done.  Coupled with the fact that I recently took on a ton more work for our next project left me uneasy about my ability to neatly compartmentalize my work time from my home life, and here we are.

I now have a commute (roughly 30 minutes by bus), but I also have the wealth of downtown eateries at my disposal.  Horse apiece? Intuit has a commute subsidy that I signed up for today which should cover 100% of my monthly bus pass costs, and of course during the summer I it’s easily bike-able.  I suppose I’ll see how it works out.  I’m month-to-month so I’m not locked for a year or anything, but if today is any indication I think I’m gonna like it here.

Put Some Stank On It

We’re headed towards cliff, my friends.  Always a terrifying experience to be aimed headlong over the edge, but when the cliff in question is of one’s own making it can make you question how you got here.  May the First ends some things and begins many; it will mark the triumphant end of No Booze April (lost 12 pounds), I’ll be jetting to San Franseezy For Sheezy to talk nonsense to a large gathering, it will officially be The Summer of Love, most weekends my activities will be preordained, Prince Fielder might hit a home run at some point, Joe’s Casino may open several times if any shambling hobos amass outside her doors, I’ll finish that Cah-razy 1949 Frank Norris book I stoled from wwhazz, my first attempt at programming a video game may get finished, and much, much more.

Wwhazz’s thoughts on my impending San Fran trip: wait outside the library and mug Cal when he emerges.  Like, not fake “hahaha!” mugging, but really push him on the ground and take his money.  Maybe cuff him on the side of the head if he doesn’t give up the goods.  “He’ll know it’s me!” I yelled.  “Not if you wear ladies pantyhose over your face,” he calmly replied.  I don’t think I’ll do it though: (1) he likely knows tai-chi or some other oddball marshal art that would render my attack ineffective (2) what if Greg is with him at the time (3) what would I rob him of? Forty cents, a MUNI pass, and his gilt-framed picture of Greg?  Not worth the trouble.  However Cal, if on the nights of May One, Two, or Three you wish to meet me at McTeague’s for a steam beer then I will assent.

I really, really wish I could have a little video camera that caught maddd’s reaction when he opened the MINI-CHIP set.  Did you think something was suspicious due to the small package size?  Did you think you were getting full size chips right up until you opened the case itself? At what exact point did you know you’d been played for a fool by Jokerstars?

I really, really wish I could attend both the Top Hat Guitar Hero Affaire and Wwhazz’s Ho-Chunk Adventure this weekend but alas I’ll be visiting my poor family a-way up in Door County.  I fondly imagine that the Top Hat Affaire will end with someone smashing the GH controller into the Fancy Booze Tray.

Here’s a Bachelor Party Update: date not confirmed but likely August 7th, cookout at wwhazz’s house including various lawn olympics (bags, ladder ball, washers), poker tournament to follow, Joe’s Casino to follow that, Thunder Road tourney to follow that, Air Hockey tourney maybe to follow that, bars to follow that stuff.  Put some Stank on it, friends– comin’ out! Watch your dicks!

Business is Picking Up, BY GAWD!

In my natural habitat

Business has surely picked up in the last three weeks and it’ll continue to gain steam right up until August 28th.  We’ve hit the home stretch in our current release development at work, while at the same time I’m prepping for a presentation to 400 engineers in San Francisco in early May.  I’m pretty nervous about the latter, but with my code complete deadlines I haven’t had as much time as I’d like to prepare and rehearse.

Wwhazz keeps wanting to show me spawning muskies but I’m trying to fit it in with the gym, work, wedding planning, and playing Morning Golf with Lawman.  Morning Golf is a time-honored tradition where you golf at the crack of dawn and then scamper into work relatively on time.

I want to remind you folks that Joe’s Casino is always open, and that they honor Mystique and Diamond Jo’s player cards.  Fuck it: let’s just go to Mystiquewho’swithmeamIrtieamIrite?

As I mentioned before I’ll be out in the Bay Area May 1st through the 8th– HOLLLAR at a player when you seem ‘im in the streets, trick.  In the meantime I’ll be watching the Brewers rotation either (a) work the kinks out or (b) flush the whole fuckin season down the toilet.

I’m hoping for (a).


I have nothing to say, more or less. Got switched to a new group at work, and the year (and decade) is coming to a close. Poo poo pachu. This weekend I’ll be at the Wisconsin/Northwestern game down in Illinois, and next week is Whazzgiving.

The soup club is on: I delivered a white chicken chili and chemical burned my hands for, like, the millionth goddamn time.  Here’s what to get me for xmas: plastic gloves and a sign that says “USE THESE WHEN CUTTING CHILI PEPPERS YOU FUCK.”

In video game news, I finished up Borderlands this week (though the first DLC drops on 24th and I’ll be getting that) just in time to grab Assassin’s Creed II.  I’m a couple of hours into AC2 and so far it’s fucking great.  Also, my new gaming compy is coming on Monday and then I’ll be able to start Dragon Age. Woo!

That whole Golden Tee thing is a bummer, but I have faith that we’ll get a replacement eventually; and hopefully when we do we’ll have somewhere to put it.

Welcome to the Bungle

February 2007 is halfway through, and I couldn’t be happier for myriad reasons.  The end of the month is spacebee’s birthday, and it’s Vegas Time.  Also, it’s fuckin Wisconsin in February so, yeah, there you go.  But mostly it’s because I’m criss-crossing (miggety mack’ll make ya) this country of ours like a futuristic hobo on the the modern boxcar: coach seats on United aircraft.  It’s full of the same disheveled stinkpots you’d probably find on the long-haul from Hackensack to Hoboton, but with laptop computers and an even worse disposition.

So this week was Mountain View for Hacktavism RC1 (you tech-tards won’t understand or care, but it had to do with making whiz-bang software) and next week is Whale’s Vagina for the Intuit Tech Forum.  Fuddruckus and Manders are shouldering the awesome responsibility of watching grace-o crawl/creep/boot-scoot-boogey all the way from San Heezy to San Deezy to kick it, Intuit-style, at a Coronado Resort.  I’m still trying to organize a Sushi ExtravaDanza sometime next week.  Fudd told me Sceizzer was down as well.  That true, maddddddddddddddd?

So, it’s Sahn Dee-ah-goe next week, then back home for the Ultra-Rare (biggest screen in the Midwest!) GMC Wisconsin visit.  Oh man, oh man, I’m so excited! I’m! So! Scared!  Then it’s off to Las Vegas for food, folks, and fun.  And by that I mean food (Sbarro food court), folks (mexican dudes throwing hooker trading cards at me), and fun (losing my shirt in craps).  Oh mommmmmmmmmmmmmmm, can’t we stay the Hooters Hotel & Casino?

After that I’ll finally be back in Wisconsin for a week or so, and then it’s off to Florida for a week. Theoretically I should be taking pictures.  In fact, I may or may not. We shall see.  Here’s some pictures from the Hacktavism Thing-A-Ma-Jig.

Finally, oh my god, is that Vanilla Ice? Yes, my company hired him as a pitchman.  Yes, he’s wearing a giant Uncle Sam hat.  Yes, he raps about filing your taxes.  Huzzah.

Today Was A Bad Day

Some of the reasons I can disclose to you, and some I can’t, but today was an extraordinarily bad day.  It started with a doctor’s appointment in New Glarus.  I print out directions which are fairly straightforward: Uh Oh! A fire truck is blocking southbound access to Hwy 151! I’m supposed to take that road!  So I spend an hour wandering the backroads of southwestern Dane County before I find my way back onto the correct route.  Holy shit I know nothing of Wisconsin south of County PD.

The doctor’s appointment includes some unexpected surprises including a tetnus shot and a procedure that men get once they reach a certain age. Hurray.

Next up we hit the gym: parking lot full! Park out on Mifflin you jerk!  Thanks, Cap Fitness.  So I park on Mifflin and as soon as I pull to the curb I realize I’m well and truly fucked.  I’m downhill, and I’m too close to the car ahead of me to just pull out again.  I can’t reverse because I’m sitting on 6 inches of ice because no plows have been on this street because none of these assholes ever move their cars.  I floor it in reverse and burn up my back tires without moving an inch.  After I take my foot off the gas my cars rolls forward until I’m 1 inch (no lie) from the back of the car in front of me.  After we get out of the gym the situation has improved tremendously!  Some jerk in a green VW Bug has parked right up behind me, so even if I could floor it out of there in reverse, that way is now blocked.  I storm around and have a temper tantrum for awhile, and spacebee is wonderful in letting me rage at an inanimate object for 20 minutes. We finally abandon the car with a note for the police (it’s a 2 hour parking zone) that says we can’t get the fucking thing out and walk to rumthumb’s place.  She graciously gives us a ride to spacebee’s so we can acquire a car, and then it’s back to my house.

Afternoon now: my tetnus shot has made me sick! Hurray!  Also, there’s a Super Important Meeting at work that I’m supposed to give status at but wasn’t invited to!  Hurray!  And now I’m sitting in this Very Important Meeting and it seems like my attendance in the least important thing here.
I’m unsure how I’ll ever get my car back.  A rational discussion of options (in the shower) did not turn up anything besides “hope the jerk in front of us drives away.”   *sigh*

even saw the lights of the goodyear blimp/and it read “moneypenny is fucked”

Wiffle Ball



Wow, lots to review in that last thread.  My favorite part: cal and wwhazz arguing about squid fishing when ewaz jumped out from behind a bush.  Also: cal’s ignorance of Wrigly, I’ve heard that Chain-Gun-of-Shit story a hundred times.  Also also: a guest appearence by Ronni (hey Ronni, a healthy percentage of New York is powered by your personal energy.  Jesus.)  Also: we got to know everyones’ first Tapes and CDs.  And finally, Eroz blew wwhazz’s Over/Under for the year out of Teh Water.


BEAR DOWN CHICAGO BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Bears made it to the Super Bowl, I can’t believe it! Whazzmaster and I spent a long weekend in good ‘ol Illinois. I drug him all around to various places, visiting friends and family. We had an exciting game of CLR on friday night. Usually we only play with quarters, but we did play with dollars this game ( for one round!) Saturday we watched Wisconsin kick some Illini ass!! Then we went to a couple of the most exciting bars; the Blackberry Inn (where one of my good friends works) and Stoney’s. Both hole in the wall bars, my favorite! Overall it was a great weekend the Bears and Badgers won, I was able to see lots of friends and family and catch up with them, and I dominated whazzmaster in darts!!! Although he did win the ping pong tournament 3 games to 2, oh well there is always next time.


On Wednesday late-night spacebee and I hit the road towards all points Illinois.  Thursday was hectic as I sped from one small suburb of Chicago to another to do customer Follow-Me-Homes for work.  I hit I-94 just in time for afternoon rush hour and headed back in the direction of Aurora (Ay-Town).  I had taken Friday off so the rest of the weekend was MINE ALONE.  Spacebee and I spent it cavorting around Chicagoland and eating, darting, ponging, and watching sports.  Also: I did some real world class napping.  In-between moments were spent reading a book I got last week: World War Z.  I think I have a post somewhere in my head about it, but I have to formulate more at this point.

Happy Birthday Manders! Happy Birthday Madddddddddddd! Happy Birthday Wwhazz!  So many to celebrate.  All y’all’s parents got it on in the same relative time frame.  Yee haw.